


Still Right Here

by indiefic



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Logan - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Logan and Laura are in this story but they are a very small part, Logan inspired Steggy story, Miscarriage, crossover with Logan, feral steggy baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiefic/pseuds/indiefic
Summary: Logan-inspired Steggy story.Starts out with Steve as a down and out MMA fighter.  Peggy's a zombie.  But it doesn't stay that way for long.  Peggy gets the help to find her way back to herself, and is helping Steve do the same when they're confronted with a child that neither of them knew about.  There's a lot of bumps along the way as they make a life together.Set in 2043.  (Logan timeline has been amended.  Also, Logan and Laura are living happily-ish in Canada.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beneath the stains of time  
> The feelings disappear  
> You are someone else  
> I am still right here  
> \- Nine Inch Nails “Hurt”
> 
>  
> 
> Posted for Steggy Week 2017 on Tumblr; #steggyweek2k17

Steve pulled the truck into the charging station, and looked over at Peggy.  She was staring out the window at the desolate desert landscape.  The same thing she’d been doing for the last three hundred miles.  “You need to get out?” he asked.

 She didn’t respond.

 Unsurprised by Peggy’s lack of reaction, Steve opened the door and stepped out of the truck.  He bit back a groan, steadying himself against the truck’s dented side.  The truck was a piece of shit.  An old crew cab, with a truck cap in the back.  He’d had to put in a couple hundred dollars to replace some battery leads for the solar panels last week.  He hoped like hell it didn’t start acting up again.

 Steve flexed his stiff muscles.  He was still beat to hell from last night’s gig.  And on top of it, he was just old.  He set the charger into the port on the truck and surveyed the landscape.  A whole lot of nothing but dirt and wind and heat.

 For a while, after SHIELD first defrosted him, Steve wondered if he would age.  Seventy years in the ice and he came out looking exactly the way he’d looked going in.  He thought maybe the serum prevented it. For years it seemed like the passage of days had no effect on his body.  

 Now, he wondered if nature was making up for lost time.  He was old.  Everything hurt.  His left arm was never going to be completely functional again.  His left hand wasn’t good for much.  He needed fucking glasses, though he refused to wear them.  Peggy, for all her problems, was at least physically young.  She could read the highway signs that were nothing but a blur to him.

 Steve went into the little convenience store, glancing back to Peggy to make sure she was staying in the truck.  It didn’t look like she’d moved at all.  He grabbed a couple liters of water, grimacing at the price.  It was extortion.  

 But they needed water.  No way around that fact.

 He paid the service bot for the water, and the charge, and went back to the truck.  He handed Peggy one of the liters.  She took it, immediately opening it and drinking deeply.  He wondered how long she’d been thirsty.  He didn’t wonder if she would have ever mentioned it to him.  He knew she wouldn’t have.

 

* * *

 

“And the winner is Nomad!” The PA crackled and popped and there was a smattering of boos and a tepid round of applause.  Steve held up his hand, breathing hard.  He looked at his opponent, still picking himself up off the mat.

 Ten minutes later, Steve was sitting on the table in the cramped, smelly trainer’s room in the back of the auditorium.  Booker shook his head, taking the e-cig out of his mouth and setting it aside.  “Jesus, Steve.  You should get this checked out at one of those med pop ups.”

 Steve didn’t say anything.  Both he and Booker knew he wasn’t going to get checked out.

 In the corner, Peggy watched it all silently.  Steve was bare to the waist and Booker was cataloging his injuries, treating them as best he could.  These matches were supposed to be staged, a good show for the crowd.  But more often than not, some kid would try and make a name for himself by taking down a former Avenger.  Steve could still kick their asses, but it was a lot more work than it used to be.  He was so fucking tired.  He just wanted to get through the gig, get his pay, and get on the road.

 “Just tape me up so I can get the hell out of here.”  They both knew Booker would be taping him up again in a few days.

 

* * *

 

The motel should have been condemned.  Anyone with an ounce of self-respect would keep driving.  Steve was short on self-respect these days, and even shorter on money.  Also, there was no way he could sleep in the back of the truck for another night.  

 He glanced across the parking lot.  There were a few working girls with johns, a few dealers, a couple of kids who didn’t have anyone to worry about them.  There were a whole lot of people these days who were barely surviving.  Steve couldn’t even remember a time when that would have bothered him.

 He leaned closer to the little speaker in the motel’s office.  “I need hot water.”

 The woman looked at him.  “That’s forty extra.”

 Steve shook his head in disgust, but he peeled off another couple of bills and shoved them through the little opening.  “And _clean_ towels.”

 

* * *

 

Steve sat on the bed, propped up on pillows, staring blindly at the television.  He didn’t look at Peggy as she exited the bathroom, along with a cloud of steam.  At least the water was hot.  

 Her hair was damp, falling loosely around her shoulders.  She was wearing a worn camisole and a pair of shorts.  She sat down on the end of the other bed, absently drying her hair with a towel.  Steve looked over at her, taking note of how thin she was.  He also took note of the two scars on the back of her right shoulder.  Bullet wounds.  He’d been there, that day, nearly a hundred years ago, when she’d been wounded.

 She was _his_ Peggy.  The proof was right in front of him.  

 But she was also a frustratingly familiar stranger.

 Steve didn’t know how Peggy was here.  Nearly five years ago, he’d gotten the call from Hill.  They found Peggy.   _A_ Peggy.  During a raid on a genetics lab in southeast Asia.  Eventually they found it was a subsidiary of a multinational corporation called Transigen that had a track record for a lot of really awful R&D.

 Steve, Hill, and Tony, thought for a while maybe Peggy was artificial.  Cho’s lab was capable of creating horrors like that, as they had all learned the hard way.  That type of human genetic R&D was banned now, by international treaty.  Not that Steve was naive enough to think that stopped people.  He was painfully aware of the fact that humanity’s science often far outpaced its morality.

 They did genetic testing, and, finally, exhumed Peggy’s grave in England before coming to the sickening realization that she was, in fact, Peggy Carter.  Reborn - or reanimated.  Back from the dead.  Given youth, but little else.

 Steve didn’t know what Transigen had been trying to accomplish with bringing Peggy back.  He doubted he would ever know.  

 But she was here now.

 For better, or for worse.

 (Often, for the worse.)

 Peggy was human.  She was sentient.  She could care for herself, and communicate - though she often chose not to, on both accounts.  

 But she wasn’t Peggy.  She wasn’t whole.

 Her memories seemed to come and go.  She usually recognized him.  When she was given the choice, years ago, she chose to go with Steve, rather than staying with Hill.  

 But day to day, there wasn’t much about her that reminded Steve of the woman he loved.  She followed him around.  But he had no idea what she was thinking.  He had no idea if she really wanted to be with him, or if she believed she had no other choice.

 Even now, sharing this motel room, the scene playing out between them was a tableau of a life they didn’t truly share.  Peggy wasn’t sitting near him, drying her hair, wearing her pajamas, because she felt particularly close to him.  She seemed unaware of how her former self would have guarded against such casual intimacy.  Even when he’d seen Peggy when she was in declining health before her death, she had never dared receive him without her hair perfectly coiffed, her room perfectly arranged.

 It made Steve feel old.  And lonely.  Even when she was sitting right next to him.

 

* * *

 

Steve woke slowly, aware of the warm female body pressed against him.  He could hear the TV playing in the background.  He must have fallen asleep.  Without opening his eyes, he turned his head, nuzzling against her.  Her hair smelled like flowers, and beneath it all was Peggy.

 His hand tightened on her ass and she hissed, “Yes.”

 He grunted, opening his eyes as she straddled him.  She looked down at him, giving him a devious smile as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head.  Leaning down, she kissed him hard.

 His fingertips bit into her hips and he returned the kiss, his tongue tangling wetly with hers.  Fuck, he wanted her.  She tasted the same.  The same as she had that day he was perched on the side of Schmidt’s car, racing for the chance to throw his life away.  She tasted like hope and want and _home_.  He wanted her, wanted to lose himself in her, to roll her over and bury himself inside her.

 With a groan, he pulled away.  

 “No, no, no!” she snapped as he used his grip on her hips to move her off him and onto the mattress next to him.  “ _Steve_.”

 Their eyes met and for several heartbeats, it was a war of the wills.  But Peggy had learned the hard way that she couldn’t win this contest.  She sighed, her features falling.  “Hold me?”

 Steve nodded and stretched out his arm.  She curled against his side, her bare breasts pressing against him.  It hurt, but he’d take it.  Bruised ribs were nothing compared to the feel of Peggy in his arms, warm and willing.  But there were limits.

 He wouldn’t touch her.

 She knew this.  But she touched him, kissing his neck as her hand slipped beneath the waistband of her shorts and into her panties.  She rubbed herself, the puffs of her breath hot and damp against his skin.  Steve forced himself to stay still.  But sound of her cries, the smell of her body.  It was nearly too much for him.  His hands fisted in the covers.  He wanted her so badly.  But he couldn’t cave to her demands.  She arched against him, humping against his leg as she brought herself off.  She finally shivered in his arms, her breath catching.  And then she collapsed against him.

 Steve counted to a hundred in his mind.  And then he slowly extricated himself from her grip.  She was drowsing, her body limp and sated.

 He headed for the shower.

 Under the hot spray of water, he gave himself the release his body wanted.  Jerking off was a sad substitute for losing himself inside Peggy.  But it was safer for all of them.

 He and Peggy were a real couple, at first.  Steve had never initiated sex.  But when she did, he went with it.  She wanted him, and he loved her.  He’d always love her.  Even if she wasn’t quite herself.  He hadn’t felt great about it.  He worried he was taking advantage.  But they were both so fucked up.  He reasoned with himself that if it was what they both wanted, it had to be okay.  He was always careful.  And she definitely seemed to enjoy herself.  

 But then one night.   _Fuck_.

 Peggy had episodes over the years.  Not in bed.  Anything could bring them on, but they weren’t common.  Sometimes she seemed to remember herself.  She’d be the Peggy he knew, the Peggy he loved.  She’d cry and hold him, tell him he’d gotten so old.  And before he knew it, she was gone.  And in her place was the vacant woman who trailed after him.

 But other times, Peggy would become something else, someone else.  She would be scared and inconsolable.  Confused.  Angry.  She would scream and sob and cry, like a wounded animal.  As if she’d lost some integral part of herself.  No matter what he did, he couldn’t make it better.  He couldn’t be what she needed.

 That was what happened one night when they were together.  

 He was over her, inside of her, and she ... changed.  The situation terrified her.   _He_ terrified her.  

 He knew, realistically, it only lasted a few minutes and she was back to her normal self, trying to coax him back to bed.  But that had been enough.  He wasn’t doing that again.  Not ever. 

 When Steve finally left the crummy little bathroom, Peggy was asleep in his spot.  He pulled the covers up over her and collapsed onto the other bed.

 

* * *

 

Steve followed Peggy down the hallway, doing his best not to limp.  The fight had been dirty.  Steve wasn’t proud of the way he conducted himself, but that could be said about most aspects of his life these days.

 The venue was a joke.  They squeezed the fight in between a livestock show and a swap meet.  The prize money was equally laughable.  He and Peggy were going to have to bunk in the truck again tonight.  Maybe once they got to Tucson he could figure something out.  He had a watch he could pawn.  Maybe get them a real bed for a night or two.

 “Hey, Cap!”

 Steve knew, without turning around, that it was his opponent from the ring.  The kid had potential, if he could find the focus he badly needed.  He was nothing but rage in the ring.  It had probably carried him past a number of opponents.  But it hadn’t gotten him past Steve.  And it wasn’t a viable long term strategy.  Steve ignored him.

 “Cap!”  He grabbed Steve’s shoulder and yanked, spinning Steve on his weak leg.

 Steve stumbled.  The kid lashed out, hitting him with an uppercut that snapped his head back.  Before he could regain his footing, the kid shoved him against the wall and doubled him over with a gut punch.  

 Steve lost his cool and snapped, rearing up and hitting the kid, hard.  The kid stumbled backwards several steps before righting himself.  As he pulled back to swing at Steve again, Peggy jumped into the fray, grabbing the kid’s arm.  The kid twisted around and punched her.

 Steve watched, as if in slow motion, as Peggy’s head hit the cinderblock wall with an audible crack.  She slid down it in a heap.  

 Steve didn’t even think, he reacted, leveling the kid with a single, devastating punch.  He didn’t even watch long enough to see him hit the floor, out cold.

 “Peggy,” Steve said, his hands brushing lightly over her.  Her nose and lip were bleeding and she was completely unresponsive.  “ _Peggy._ ”

 Steve heard footsteps and looked up to see Booker jogging down the hall toward them.  The old man frowned.  “Fuck.”  He dug his phone out of his pocket and started tapping in numbers.

 Peggy was coming around by the time the ambulance arrived.  Steve’s relief was short lived as she started screaming, trying to scramble away from him.

 It was chaos.  

 The EMTs were trying to treat Peggy, who was having a total meltdown.  The cops had both Steve, and the kid, in handcuffs.  Steve tried to explain things, but it was clear the cops weren’t interested in hearing it.  This was the last fucking thing he needed today.

 As the cops were loading him the back of a cruiser, he watched the EMTs load Peggy, on a stretcher, into the ambulance.  Even at a distance, he could tell she’d been sedated.

 

* * *

 

Steve opened his eyes as the outer door clanged open.  The sheriff approached the cell, frowning.  “C’mon, Cap,” he said, sounding weary.  “Somebody paid your bail.”

 Steve pushed himself up into a sitting position, groaning.  The sheriff shook his head and Steve tried to let it wash over him.  He was well aware of how far he’d fallen.  He forced himself to his feet and waited as the sheriff unlocked the cell.

 Steve followed the man down the hall and out into the small lobby.  He expected to see Hill.  Or maybe Natasha.

 It wasn’t Hill, or Natasha, waiting for him.

 It was Sharon.

 She turned and looked at him, wincing.  She stopped short of shuddering in disgust.  But just barely.  “Goddamn, Steve.”

 He didn’t argue.  He knew she was right.  On top of his normal day to day glamor, last night’s fight certainly hadn’t improved his appearance.  He was still wearing the same dirty, torn shirt, smeared with blood.

 He shrugged.  “You look great, Sharon.  As usual.”  It wasn’t an empty compliment.  Twenty years hadn’t done anything to diminish her appeal.  She’d aged the way Peggy had, beautifully.  Her hair was lighter than it had been in her youth, her skin bore a few wrinkles.  But her back was still straight, her head still high.  She was a powerful woman.  She hadn’t crumpled under the weight of all the things they did to try and safeguard the earth.  Not like he had.

 He took a deep breath, rubbing his jaw.  “Why are you here?”

 Sharon’s look could have frozen ice.  It was clear she didn’t want to discuss this in the lobby of the sheriff’s office.  “Outside.”  She turned, expecting him to follow.  

 He did.

 Once outside, she slid behind the wheel of a sleek black sedan.  She waited until he climbed in, and then she pulled out of the parking lot.

 “Thanks,” he said quietly, “for posting bail.”  He didn’t offer to pay her back.  He couldn’t.  He was finished making promises he knew he couldn’t keep.

 He could see her knuckles turn ever so slightly whiter as she gripped the wheel.  “Peggy’s a mess,” Sharon bit out.

 He nodded and swore under his breath.  It wasn’t like he really thought Sharon would be here, unaware of Peggy.  Lord knew Sharon wasn’t here for him.  But he’d hoped against hope that he hadn’t been completely busted.  So much for that.

 “They’ve had to keep her sedated,” she said, her voice hard.  “When she’s awake, she’s panicked, terrified.”

 He slumped in his seat.  Fuck.  Usually Peggy’s episodes lasted a couple of minutes at most.  If she was still having problems from last night, something was very wrong.

 In his peripheral vision, he could see Sharon turn toward him.  “Is she always like this?” 

 He shook his head, still staring blankly at the dash.  “No,” he finally managed.  “She’s not ...”  He took a deep breath.  “She’s not herself, but she’s usually not the way she is right now.”

 He could hear Sharon’s angry breathing as she turned her attention back to the road.  “What makes you think you have the right?”

 He looked over at her.  “The right to what?”

 Sharon looked at him again, irate.  “To take her,” she snapped. 

 Steve opened his mouth and then shut it again.  He shrugged.  “She wanted to go with me.”

 Sharon made a noise in the back of her throat.  “That woman, that _thing_ , she isn’t my aunt.  And whatever she is, however she was created, there is no way she meets the legal threshold to make decisions for herself.”

 Steve slumped back in the leather seat.  He took a deep breath.  “She’s Peggy,” he said firmly.  “But she’s not normal.  I don’t know what they did to her, but she’s .. off.”  He stared out at the crappy little town as, presumably, Sharon drove toward the local medical facility.  “Look,” he said, his tone placating, “when she gets through this, I’ll do a better job of taking care of her.  I’ll find something stable, quiet.  I’ll - “

 “You’re not going to do anything,” Sharon said, her voice icy calm.  She looked at him for a long moment and then laughed.  “You honestly think we’d let you take her?”

 Steve just stared at her.  “What?”

 “You’re not her next of kin, Steve.  She has a _family._ ”

 Steve blinked slowly.  “But - “

 “No,” Sharon said with absolute finality.  “No way.  Specialists are on their way right now.  As soon as they get here, she will be transferred to some place where she can get actual help.”

 Steve was aware of his breath coming faster, of the bite of panic at the edges of his consciousness.  “Where?”

 “None of your goddamn business,” Sharon snapped.  

 Steve was spared having to think of a comeback as Sharon pulled into the parking lot of the little medical center.  He was silent as they walked inside together.

 They could hear Peggy before they rounded the corner.  She was angry, scared.  Steve’s heart beat faster, but he forced himself to be calm.  If he got upset, it would only make her worse.  Before he could push his way into the room, Sharon took hold of his upper arm, urging him to stop.  He looked down at her.

 “Don’t,” she said, shaking her head.

 Steve stared at her incredulously.  “I can help.  Or are you planning on keeping her sedated for the rest of her life?”

 Sharon’s jaw was set, her expression defiant.  “The rest of her life?  No.  But long enough to get her out of here and into a medical facility where she can get the assistance she needs?  It’s not ideal, but needs must.”

 Steve shook his head.  He took several steps backward, until the wall was at his back.  The reality of the situation hit him, all in that moment.  He was being excised from Peggy’s life, like necrotic tissue.  He opened his mouth, but found he had no words.

 Sharon seemed to read his distress and took a deep breath, frowning at him.  “She needs help, Steve.   _Real_ help.  You can’t give her that.”

 He wanted to argue.  He’d spent so many years mourning a life he’d never had with Peggy.  For Sharon to step in and take her away - 

 But even Steve couldn’t deny the truth in Sharon’s words.  He knew, deep down, that he was no use to anyone.  Especially not Peggy.  Sharon was right.  If there was some place where Peggy could get medical treatment that might help her live a real life, then she deserved that shot.  He was nothing but dead weight.  

 “Please,” he said.  “Please, let me know that she’s okay.”

 

END CHAPTER


	2. Chapter 2

Steve keyed in the prepaid card and then pressed the contact.  It took a long time to connect.  He could imagine Tony staring at the call, trying to decide whether or not to take it.  Steve had already asked everybody else who he thought might have some idea what was going on.  None of them knew anything.  Tony was his last chance.

 “Yeah, Cap?”  

 Steve could hear kids in the background.  Last Steve knew, Tony had four under four, with another on the way.  Steve didn’t know what demons Tony was trying to placate with children.  He didn’t want to know.  

 “Hey, uh,” Steve started awkwardly, “I need to know if you’ve heard anything about Peggy.  It’s been almost eight months.”

 The connection was shit, but Steve could clearly hear Tony’s sigh.  “I can’t help you, Cap.  My advice is to kiss Sharon’s ass.  Maybe she’ll take pity on you and let you know.”

 “I’ve tried,” Steve said wearily.  “I’m persona non grata with the entire Carter clan.”  Tony didn’t say ‘I told you so’ and for that, Steve was grateful.  It had been seven and a half very long months since Sharon took Peggy for treatment.  Steve hadn’t heard a word from either of them.  He tried to be patient, but he was getting desperate for news.

 “Have you considered that maybe Peggy is the one who doesn’t want to see you?”

 Steve paced around the parking lot of the service station.  “Yeah,” he finally said.  “I have considered that.”

 “You know,” Tony said quietly, “sometimes people need a break.”

 Steve didn’t bother asking how that break turned out with Pepper, and whether Tony still blamed himself for not being there when it happened.  “Yeah.  I know.  Okay.  Thanks.”  He hung up before Tony could say anything else.

 

* * *

 

Six weeks later, Steve was in an automat a couple blocks from the evening’s venue, eating a bowl of incredibly salty ramen.  He looked up when he heard the door, half expecting it to be the promoter, Ramirez.  He’d tried to stiff Steve half his pay on some bullshit technicality.  Steve got a little rough, and he got his money.  But he kept looking over his shoulder.  However, the person at the door wasn’t Ramirez’s enforcer.  

 Steve went very still.  Natasha looked at him and shook her head, disappointment on her drawn features.

 He wiped his face and leaned back in his chair. The automat wasn’t much.  A couple of badly beaten plastic tables and chairs.  The windows looking out into the parking lot were dirty.  Fluorescent lights flickered overhead.  He knew the atmosphere didn’t do much for his own looks.  “Been a while,” he said.

 Natasha nodded and took a seat.  The scarring on the left side of her face was just as he remembered.  He knew Cho would have repaired the damage for her, so the fact that Natasha hadn’t had the work done meant something.  The rest of her wasn’t looking in particularly good shape either.

“I talked to Stark,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.  “He told me where I could find you.”

“You don’t follow me on social media?” Steve quipped.  “I’m appearing at the Laramie County Fairgrounds next Friday and Saturday.  I’m the third most famous draw, after Madam LeBeaux’s World Famous Otter Circus, and the annual Wyoming Rocky Mountain Oyster Eating Contest.”

 Natasha didn’t laugh, which was a pity.  Because his life was a giant fucking joke.

 They sat there for several excruciatingly painful moments.  The lights overhead buzzed and popped.

 “Steve, buy me a drink.”

 “Yes, ma’am,” he said, rising to his feet.

 

* * *

 

The bar didn’t have much more atmosphere than the automat, but at least it was dark.  Steve was on his third bourbon.  Natasha was at least two drinks ahead of him.  They made idle chitchat, going so far as to actually discuss the weather.  And how badly the newest proposed bipartisan tax plan was going to gut their already laughable pensions.  

 The neutral conversation quickly wore thin.  “Why are you here, Nat?” he asked, not unkindly.

 She looked up at him.  “I’m sick,” she said, with a leaden finality.  She looked away.  “I’m not going to come out the other side of this.  I need to reconcile my ledger.”

 Steve cursed under his breath.

 Natasha shrugged.  “We all pay in the end.  I had a better run than most.”

 Steve heard the words she wasn’t saying, but he was a coward.  He couldn’t ask how things had gone with Bucky, in the end.  Instead, he reached out and covered her hand with his own.  He could see her chin quiver.  She slipped her fingers through his for just a moment, giving him a tight squeeze.  

 Then she pulled her hand away, sniffling loudly.  She tucked a lock of hair behind her good ear.  “Peggy Carter is at the old compound in New York.”

 Steve sucked in a sharp breath and frowned.  “Why?”

 Natasha shrugged.  “I don’t know.  But she’s there.”

 He nodded, grateful for the information.  “If there’s anything I can do to - “

 “I’m not squaring up with you, Steve,” she said bluntly.  “I’m squaring up with her.  You still owe me.  When I call in that favor, you’re going to know it.”

 

* * *

 

There was a guard at the gatehouse.  He looked like a rent-a-cop.  Steve suspected his name would be on Tony’s no fly list.  He briefly considered walking back into the wooded area, just to the east, and hopping the fence.  But Steve didn’t want to sneak up on Peggy.  She told Nat to let him know where she was.  She was expecting him.  

 The guard took his ID, looked him over.  He picked up the phone and made a call, and then nodded and let him through.  The road up to the main buildings was rutted.  It hadn’t been well maintained over the years.  Its saving grace was that it didn’t get cold enough, even in upstate New York, to freeze anymore.

 There were maybe a dozen cars in the lot next to the main building, though it could hold hundreds.  Steve was surprised the old Avengers compound was still staffed at all.  He thought Tony shuttered the place years ago, after -

 Steve parked the truck and got out.  It was early afternoon.  He had no idea where to start looking for Peggy, so he headed for the quad.  That had always been his favorite spot.  He figured he’d take a seat somewhere very visible and let her find him.  The guard had already told her that he was here.

 Steve rounded the corner of the main building and stopped.  The quad was a meadow now.  No more acre upon acre of perfectly manicured grass.  It had all gone fallow.  The reflecting pool was still filled with water.  And there, in the shade of a large tree by the water, was a woman.  

 Steve felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.  He knew, at a glance, that it was Peggy.  Taking a deep breath, he started off across the meadow grass toward her.  He made sure to make noise.  She didn’t turn toward him, but he knew she’d heard him.  As he came to stand a dozen or so paces from where she sat, she didn’t startle.  She just stared out across the meadow.  

 Fear clutched at his insides.  What if Sharon's experts hadn’t been able to help Peggy?  What if she was the same vacant, broken creature who’d been carted off from that little hospital?

 “You must not have wasted any time,” Peggy said.  She glanced up at Steve.  “I only spoke to Natasha last week.”

 Relief rushed through him and his mouth was dry.  He didn’t know what to say, what to do.  He toed absently at a big rock near the water’s edge, his hands shoved in his pockets.  “I, uh, didn’t have a lot going on.”

 She arched an eyebrow at him, her lips curled into a sardonic smile.  “That much I believe.”

 His heart beat faster and his mouth was suddenly dry.  This was _Peggy_.  The real Peggy.  Not the Peggy-shaped shell who slept next to him for years.

 “Sit down, Steve,” she said, looking out across the meadow again.  “You’re exhausting me.”

 Chagrined, he gingerly lowered himself to the ground, trying to bite back a groan as his body protested.  They sat there for quite a while, watching the birds, mostly.  There were a lot of them.  More than Steve had seen in one place in recent memory.

 The silence between them was finally more than he could take.  If she was going to cut him off at the knees, he preferred she did it now and put him out of his misery.  “I was surprised when Natasha said you wanted to see me.”

 She looked over at him, but didn’t say anything.

 He cleared his throat.  “Sharon made it known that I wasn’t welcome near you.”

 Peggy nodded, and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them.  “I love Sharon dearly,” she said.  “But she and I are often not in agreement about what is best for me.  It isn’t her call.  Not anymore.”

 Steve tried not to read too much into that statement, other than the fact that Peggy was willing to disagree with Sharon when she wanted.  He looked at Peggy, trying to take her in.  For years, her face was the first thing he saw in the morning, and the last thing he saw at night.  And yet, he felt like this was the first time he had seen her in nearly a hundred years.  Maybe he never saw her like this.  Her hair was shorter than it had been when she was with him, just brushing the tops of her shoulders, and obviously styled.  Her features were still youthful.  She looked thirty, maybe, if even that.  Her skin had golden hue, from time spent in the sun.  Her fingernails and lips were both crimson, and there was an ease to her, a certain artful sloppiness, that he’d never seen before.  

 When they first defrosted him, he read a lot of Peggy’s history with SHIELD.  The woman before him now wasn’t the same woman he lived with so recently.  This was the woman who ran SHIELD.  Despite her youthful features, there was a hardness to her, a steel core tempered in countless fires.  And a willingness to buck convention, maybe even to enjoy it.

 "You can relax, Steve," she said evenly.  "I'm not about to start pointing fingers."

He looked at her, his brows knitted together.  "I'm not looking for that," he said seriously, "but I'm not sure I don't deserve it."

She waved him off and rolled her eyes.  "You've suffered more than enough for whatever your imagined sins are," she said prosaically.  

Steve didn't necessarily agree with her assessment of his sins, but he didn't want to argue.  He looked around the quad again.  "What are you doing here?"

She sighed.  "Trying to put myself back together," she said.  She paused, frowned.  "Well, Dr. Lazino did most of it.  At least she gave me a foundation where I can try and build something."  She looked at him, her eyes narrowed.  "Right now, I'm trying to sort through memories - the newer ones at least - figure out what's worth salvaging."

Steve nodded.  “How much do you remember about the time after they brought you back?”

“Most of it,” she said quietly.  “I think.”  She laughed bitterly.  “Far more than I would care to remember.”  And then, more quietly, “Far more than any human should remember.”

 Steve swallowed thickly and stared out at the grass and birds and sky.  “I’m sorry.”  He could tell she had turned her head toward him, but he couldn’t meet her gaze.

 She took a deep breath and blew it out harshly.  “We made the best of a shit situation.  I doubt either of us are particularly proud of it.  But we did what we had to do to survive.”

 “You think my taking advantage of you, when you weren’t in your right mind, was necessary to my survival?” he demanded.

 She met his gaze evenly and held it for a long time.  “If you think it wasn’t, you’re lying to yourself.”

 He didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything.  He watched as she pushed herself to her feet, dusting grass off her jeans.  She took several steps, until she was standing right next to him, and looked down at him.  Reaching down, she brushed his hair back from his forehead, her features softening ever so slightly.  “You’re killing yourself, Steve,” she said quietly.  “Why?”

 He shrugged, looking up at her.  “No one else could manage it?”

 She rolled her eyes and stepped back a half step.  “Always so bloody dramatic.  Come on."

 

* * *

 

A lot of the compound was completely closed up, but there were sections that were kept in surprisingly good repair.  One of the housing wings looked pretty much the way it had looked when Steve lived there, decades earlier.  As they headed for Peggy’s suite, Steve could hear people in several of the other apartments.

 Once they were inside Peggy’s apartment, Steve asked, “Who are the people who live here?”

 Peggy shrugged and shook her head.  “I have no idea.  If I ask them questions, they feel entitled to ask their own in return.  We all mind our own business.”

 Steve didn’t know what to make of that, but Peggy didn’t give him a lot of time to ponder the subject.  Inside her small, but tidy, kitchen, she put him to work, cleaning vegetables.  It wasn’t easy, with his bum hand, but he managed.  It reminded him how hungry he was.  He couldn’t remember the last time he sat down to an actual meal.  He’d been living on those god awful protein bars and energy drinks for days.

Peggy poured them each red wine, into mismatched glasses.  She put the vegetables and other ingredients into a pot and set it cooking on the stove.  Leaning back against the counter, Peggy watched him over the rim of her wine glass as she took a drink.  Steve tried not to flinch.  He couldn’t read her.  Not anymore.  Maybe not ever.  She was a puzzle to him.  He didn’t get the feeling it was mutual.  He felt like Peggy was looking right through him, like he was the most obvious thing she’d ever seen.

Sighing, she shook her head.  “Dinner’s going to take a while.  Go shower.  Leave your clothes outside the door so I can launder them.”  She frowned.  “Or maybe burn them.”

 Steve didn’t argue.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had a hot shower, which wasn’t a good sign.  He probably stank.  

 He polished off the last of his glass and headed for the bathroom.  The room was utilitarian, for a Stark property, but still far nicer than anywhere Steve had been in years.  He undressed, trying not to look at himself in the mirror.  It had been almost a week since his last fight, but his body was still covered in healing bruises.  Not to mention the scars that would never heal.  He took his clothes and dropped them outside the door.

 The water was scalding hot and Steve took full advantage, letting the spray pound against his aching muscles.  He used Peggy’s soap and shampoo.  Once the water started to cool, he turned it off.  He saw that Peggy had left a robe on the counter.  It was a thick, gray cotton.  He doubted it was hers.  It was probably something left over from when the compound used to be fully staffed.

 Steve finally dared to look in the mirror.  He honestly couldn't remember the last time he took a good accounting of himself.  He was old.  His hair was almost completely gray now, and far too long.  He was too thin.  It made him look even older than he already was.  He found a shoebox full of toiletry samples under the sink.  He put the shaving cream and a disposable razor to good use.  He didn’t look any younger, but there was something to the ritual of shaving that made him feel a little less at loose ends.

 He wrapped the robe around himself and stepped out into the apartment.  He could hear the washer running.  Peggy was in the kitchen, adjusting the seasoning in the bubbling pot.  She turned and looked at him and smiled.  Setting the spoon down, she returned the lid to the pot.

 “Now you’ve done it,” she said.

 He frowned.  “Done what?”

 “You had this whole wolfman thing going on, but now,” she motioned toward his face.  “Now you’re uneven.  You need a haircut.”

 He shrugged.  “Sorry.  I don’t have any clippers.”

 “I guess we’ll just have to make do, then,” she said, motioning toward the small patio.

 “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”

 “Too bad,” she said, digging her fingers into the small of his back and pushing him toward the patio.  “I’m not giving you a choice.”

 There was a small metal table and chairs out on the patio.  The sun was setting, and the the night was cool, but pleasant.  Peggy handed Steve a fresh glass of wine and disappeared back inside the apartment.  He had no idea what they were doing.  Playing house?  He wasn’t going to question it.  This was Peggy, in her right mind.  If she decided to stab him in the neck with a pair of scissors, so be it.  He’d happily bleed out on her patio.  It would be a better end than he deserved.

Peggy returned with a towel, a pair of scissors, a comb, and her own glass of wine.  Apparently she wasn’t intent on murder.  At least not right away.

 Steve sat still as she wrapped the towel around his shoulders.  She ran her fingers through his hair and he shivered involuntarily.

 “All right?” she asked.

 “Fine,” he said, embarrassed.

 She reached over and took another drink, before once again setting her glass aside.

 “Should you be drinking while you’re cutting my hair?” he said, trying to deflect from how inexplicably nervous he felt.

 “Ah yes, given how invested you are in your appearance, I can see how that’s a concern,” she said wryly.  She ran her fingers through his hair again, and then started combing out sections.  

 Steve sat as still as he could, concentrating on the way her hands felt in his hair, the gentle glide of her fingers against his scalp.  He couldn’t remember the last time someone touched him outside of the ring.  Surely it had been Peggy, months ago.  He was touch starved.  Booker didn't have anything on Peggy.

 The even snip of the scissors was the only real noise for minutes.  Steve sat there, wishing it wouldn’t end.  But even as shaggy as he was, he only had so much hair.  Eventually, she set the scissors down and pulled the towel away, shaking it out in the grass at the edge of the patio.  Then she came back and used the edge of the towel to wipe away stray hairs on his neck and face.  She looked him over critically.

 “Do I pass muster?”

 She sighed in resignation.  “You’ll do, Captain.”

 He laughed and rose to his feet.  All at once, he was painfully aware of how close they were standing.  She looked up at him, meeting his gaze easily.  His eyes fixed on her lips, the perfect crimson curve of her cupid’s bow.  He wanted -

 Her lips quirked into a smile.  “Let’s go inside.”

 The moment was broken and he felt ridiculously short of breath.  He nodded, following her back into the apartment.  She moved the laundry to the drier as he checked his reflection in the mirror.  His hair looked better, nothing fancy, but it was an improvement.

 Steve wasn’t completely comfortable eating dinner in nothing more than a bathrobe, but it certainly wasn’t the strangest thing he’d ever done.  The dinner was leisurely.  They finished off another bottle of wine.  The food was simple, but excellent.  Steve had no idea if Peggy had always been able to cook, or if this was a new skill she was picking up.

At some point, Steve’s laundry was done and he put his clothes back on.  Steve couldn’t read Peggy’s expression.  He had no idea if she was disappointed or relieved.  

Eventually, they took the dishes and put them in the sink, and then moved to the couch.  It was easy to talk to Peggy, easier than it had ever been.  Part of that was the wine, and the exhaustion.  But part of it was the bone deep sense of companionship.  She was a different version of herself than he had ever met, but he knew in his heart that this was the _real_ Peggy.  Steve had been concerned, after Natasha’s visit, that Peggy wanted to see him so she could exact revenge for how he disrespected her.  That didn’t seem to be the case.  The more they talked, he got the impression that she was lonely, and there were few people who could even begin to understand her situation.

 The night wore on and Peggy yawned loudly.  Steve took the hint and stood up.  “I should go.”

 She laughed, looking at him like he was a slow child.  “Go where?”  She stood up and shook her head.  “You don’t have a place where you belong, any more than I do.”  She held out her hand.

 Steve stared at her proffered hand.  He didn’t want to leave.  He had been so starved for Peggy for so long, and she was finally here.  

Taking her hand, he let her lead him to the bedroom.  There was nothing personalized about the space.  She had a couple of suitcases in the corner.  There was a bottle of perfume and a hairbrush on top of the chest of drawers.  

He watched as she undressed, seemingly unselfconscious.  There was nothing seductive in what she did.  It was mundane, functional.  She pulled on an oversized t-shirt and then closed herself up in the bathroom.  At a loss, Steve took off his shirt and jeans.  He slid under the covers, trying to settle himself.  

 He understood how absolutely ridiculous it was to feel nervous, but it couldn’t be helped.  There was another bedroom, he knew.  His own apartment, when he’d lived here so many years ago, had the same layout.  He had no idea if there was another bed, in the other room.  But she could very easily have offered him the floor, or even the couch in the living room.  She hadn’t.  She’d tucked him into her own bed.

 Peggy finally returned, face damp and smelling of mint toothpaste.  Without any fanfare, she turned off the light and joined him in bed.  She didn’t seem to share any of his hesitation, easily settling herself at his side.  She was asleep before Steve had managed to relax.  

 He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so young.

 

* * *

 

Steve woke slowly, blinking in the dim pre-dawn light.  Peggy was asleep next to him, her face turned toward him, her lips parted slightly.  Her hair was in disarray, cascading around the pillow and her bare shoulders.  At some point during the night she had removed the shirt.

 He lay still, watching her, unable to believe she was really here.  It was a long time before she stirred, frowning and stretching, before opening her eyes and looking at him.  He felt like he should say something, but he didn’t know what, so he kept quiet.  She gave him a soft smile and pushed herself up on her elbows so she could lean over and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

 His breath caught, and he could feel her smile against his lips.  She moved closer to him, coaxing his lips apart with her own.  With a groan, he rolled onto his back, pulling her across his chest.  She didn't miss a beat, repositioning herself over him, so her knees were on either side of his hips and her arms were braced against his shoulders.

 The kisses were soft, leisurely, like they had all the time in the world.  And maybe they did.  Cocooned in her bed, it felt like they were the only two people in the world.  Her teasing kisses slowly turned more hungry, the movements of her body against his more restless.

 Fuck, he wanted her.  He would always want her.  But it certainly wasn’t helped by the fact that he hadn’t been with anyone since the last time he was with her.  She broke off the kiss and nipped along his jaw.  He groaned, arching his neck to give her better access.  His hands found her hips and then trailed lightly up her sides, before cupping her breasts.

 “Yes,” she hissed, rocking her hips against his.

 “Peggy,” he groaned.

 She captured his lips again, her kiss hard and demanding.  “Did you miss me?”

 He didn’t have words to adequately answer that question so he growled, flipping her over onto her back, covering her body with his own.  She made a sound of pleasure, catching the waistband of his shorts with her toe, and pushing them down.  He helped her, shoving the material down his legs and away.  And then he was rocking against her, feeling her wetness, drunk on the taste and smell and sound of her.

 Giving her a last kiss, he moved down her body.  She eagerly parted her legs for him, her fingers carding through his hair as his mouth found her, and his hands grasping her thighs.  He tasted her over and over, greedy for her, for the sounds she was making.

 It became immediately clear, that for all the times they’d been together in the past, this was the first time he was really getting _Peggy._  Jesus Christ.  She was a talker, and every bit as good at giving orders in bed, as she had been in the field.  She told him exactly how and where she wanted him, and he was happy to oblige.  As he used his tongue and fingers to bring her off again, he wondered if she was upset she’d cut his hair so short.  There wasn’t much to pull, not that it kept her from trying.  He smirked at her as he moved up her body.

 She gave him a wry smile, but didn’t seem to find fault with his smugness.  But they both sobered as he kissed her gently and then pressed his forehead to hers.  One of her hands wrapped around his bicep, the other found the nape of his neck.

 “I thought I lost you again,” he said, his voice a harsh whisper.

 She shook her head, but couldn’t seem to find the words.  She kissed him instead, pulling him closer.  Slowly, he slid into her, pressing forward until he could go no farther.

 “ _Yes_ ,” she hissed, wrapping her legs around his waist, biting at his lips.  

 He had to move.  They’d have time for gentle later.  But he needed her.  And she needed him.  He set a steady, demanding rhythm.

 She clenched tightly around him and he grunted, his movements faltering.  

 “Keep up, old man,” she whispered in his ear, before biting down on his earlobe.

 Steve gritted his teeth together, fighting for concentrating.  She felt too good.  He didn’t last long, and she held him tight as he found his release.  He managed to roll them both onto their sides, though they were still wrapped around one another.  He pressed his forehead against her collarbone, fighting back the burning behind his eyes and chest.

 Her nails scratched along the nape of his neck and she wrapped her leg tighter around his hip.  “We’re home, Steve,” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

When they finally pulled apart, the sun was high and they were both starving.  They took quick showers and took the truck into town.  They had lunch in a struggling little mom and pop diner.  Afterward, they went to an enormous discount warehouse that had everything from canned vegetables to camping gear.  Peggy picked up a few groceries, and detoured into the clothing section.  

 “Will these work?” she asked, holding up a six pack of shorts.

 Steve blinked at her for a moment, trying to figure out what she was implying.

 She sighed at him.  “The state of your pants is criminal,” she said.  “You need new ones, and if you’re going to be staying here, you might as well get them now.”

 He looked at the pack of shorts and nodded.  “Yeah, that’s fine.”

 Despite all the talking they’d done the previous night, there hadn’t been a word about why Steve was here.  Or how things were between them.  But if Peggy was concerned about the state of his shorts, he figured that she planned to keep him around for a while

 They loaded up their purchases and went back to the compound.  Tino, the rent-a-cop in the gatehouse, waved them in without making them stop.  Steve unloaded the truck, taking all his gear into the apartment.  Peggy pointed him to the washer and he emptied out the duffel bag and started a load of laundry.  Apparently she wasn’t offering to do anymore of his laundry, which didn’t shock him.

 Steve was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels.  He wasn’t paying a lot of attention to Peggy, who was moving around the apartment with her own private agenda.  As she came to stand next to him, he looked up at her an arched an eyebrow.  She was wearing a bikini.  She tossed a pair of swim trunks at him.

 “The pool’s maintained,” she said.  

 Steve changed into the trunks and followed her down a warren of hallways until they reached the pool.  After the serum, Steve had enjoyed swimming.  He wasn’t much for being self-conscious these days, but he was glad that they didn’t run into any of the compound’s other tenants.  

 Peggy dove off the diving board, as graceful at swimming as she was at everything else.  Steve stuck to bobbing in the water.  The near weightlessness did feel good.  Fuck he was old.  Usually it didn’t really bother him, but he was all too aware of how pronounced his age difference with Peggy seemed to be. They were the same age.  He knew that, and she knew that, but right at the moment, he looked old enough to be her grandfather.  That is, if Peggy’s fictional grandfather had a tendency to get into bar fights.

 Steve watched as Peggy swam laps.  He understood that drive, the need to push one’s self to the point of exhaustion.  He’d done it a lot after they defrosted him.  He supposed it had to be a similar sensation to what Peggy was experiencing.  She’d been dead.  For a long time.  And now she was back.

 When Peggy had worn herself out, they headed back to the apartment and showered.  They made sandwiches and drank more wine before curling up on the couch together.  Peggy was watching some British miniseries that held no appeal for him, other than that Peggy was at his side.  So he just sat there and concentrated on the feel of her body next to his.

 He must have nodded off because he started awake as she was tugging him toward bed.  

 

END CHAPTER


	3. Chapter 3

Steve and Peggy’s existence together found a surprisingly easy rhythm.  Summer faded into fall, and then into winter.  It didn’t snow, but it rained all the damn time.  Not that Steve cared much.  Living out of the back of the truck, the weather had been a major factor.  Now it was just the backdrop to his life with Peggy.

 “You don’t look nearly so old anymore,” she told him one night as he was undressing for bed.  He shrugged it off, but he knew she had a point.  He was eating more, and better, so his face had lost a lot of the gauntness.  Between the regular meals, and not getting beat to hell every other night, it was clear the serum was still doing something.  It wasn’t like anyone would mistake him for a young man, but he looked significantly younger than he had.  He moved easier.  He slept well.  Probably better than he ever had.

He and Peggy still drank too much, but now it didn’t feel like just another way to kill themselves.  It was an _experience_.  That’s what Peggy said.  They were supposed to savor the wine.  Steve wasn’t sure he bought the explanation, but the wine was good, and Peggy was better.  She shared her life with him.  She trusted him to deal, not only with the bizarre circumstances of her reappearance, but also with who she really was, a woman shaped not only by the lives she lived, but by those she lost.  Steve hoped he was holding up his end of the bargain.

Peggy had decorated the apartment a bit.  As far as Steve could tell, it wasn’t so much about adding new things, as it was about getting rid of old things.  Mostly his old things.  None of the clothing he’d arrived with had survived the purge.  His duffle bag was also gone.  He owned more clothes than he had in years.   It wasn’t lost on him that Peggy wasn’t so much remaking him to her tastes, as to his own.  For so many years he’d neglected everything, himself included.  Everything she picked out, from the leather bomber jacket to the too tight t-shirts was his style, not hers.  She was giving him back bits of himself, reminding him who he was in gentle ways.  The nagging emptiness and rage that had fueled Steve for so long seemed to finally subside.  He didn’t feel the inexorable need to be constantly on the move, literally roaming from one fight to the next.  He was content to settle at Peggy’s side.

And settle they did.  Steve and Peggy didn’t actually _do_ anything, in terms of vocation, which gave them nothing but downtime.  There weren’t many pressure points in their life together.  They didn’t pay rent at the compound.  Steve didn’t have a lot of money saved up, but between his savings and his laughable pension, it was enough to pay his half of the groceries.  Other than that, they didn’t have many expenses.  The sex was fantastic, but they couldn’t spend all day in bed, regardless of how tempting the idea was.  

In short, Steve was content, but bored.  

Peggy was more adept at keeping herself busy with projects, few of which involved him.  She spent a lot of time online.  Steve didn’t know exactly what she was doing.  Research.  But into what, he wasn’t sure.  He knew she kept tabs on her family, though she didn’t seem particularly interested in seeing them.  Maybe that wasn’t right.  She seemed interested, but reluctant.  Steve understood that.

Steve made friends with Tino, the guy who manned the gatehouse most days.  Steve had no interest in being on Tony’s payroll, even in a very round about way.  Tino helped Steve find odd jobs around town.  Steve didn’t love them.  Typically they involved repossessing stolen property.  But he needed something to keep himself busy.  That kind of work had flexible hours and didn’t require much mental overhead.  And it brought in a little extra money.

It was late one night when Steve got back from a job.  It had taken him all the way to Buffalo.  He should have stayed over.  But he hated being away from Peggy, even for a night, so he pushed through the weather.  When he opened the door to the apartment, he was doubly glad he had come home.  Peggy was curled up in the corner of the couch, a glass of wine on the end table next to her.  When she saw him, she reached up and swiped impatiently at the tears on her cheeks.

 Steve took off his jacket and threw it over the back of one of the chairs.  “What’s going on?”

 She shook her head, frowning.  “Nothing.”

 Carefully, he took a seat next to her on the couch.  He was glad when she turned, leaning against him.  He held her for several long minutes, and then pressed a hard kiss to her temple.  “What happened?”

 She sniffled loudly.  “I spoke with Sharon.”

 He pulled back, far enough to look at her.  “Yeah?”

 She shook her head and took a deep breath.  “Phillip, my youngest grandson, is ill.”

 “Is it bad?”

 She nodded.  “It is.”  She took a deep breath.  “He’s been in poor health for years.  I want to see him.  But Sharon thinks it would be a mistake.  It would be too hard on everyone.”

 “Do they all know you’re ... back?”

 She shook her head.  “Not all of them.  My eldest great-grandson knows.  And two of my great-granddaughters.  Sharon, obviously.”  She sighed. “But it’s not common knowledge.”

 He wrapped his arm around her and held her tight.  She buried her face against his chest and sobbed.  Steve knew that Sharon’s words were more suggestion than edict.  She had no more dominion over Peggy, than Steve had, at this point.  He knew that Peggy was upset at the situation, rather than Sharon.

 

* * *

 

In the days after the news of her grandson, Peggy was withdrawn.  Steve could only imagine how hard it had to be for her.  When he woke up, there wasn’t really anyone to have missed him.  Aside from Peggy.  He hadn’t had any family to speak of, and by the time he woke up, he’d outlived nearly all of his friends.  He couldn’t imagine having a family that he knew and loved, and not being able to go to them.

 He was sitting on the edge of the bed one morning, getting ready to head for the shower.  Peggy sat up and scooted behind him.  He waited, feeling the warm puff of her breath against his back.  Her fingers traced over the network of scars on the back of his left shoulder.  He could hear her swallow thickly.

 “How did you do it for so long?” she whispered.

 He turned his head to the side, but didn’t completely twist around to look at her.  “Do what?”

 She sighed.  “How did you keep putting one foot in front of the other?”

 He turned around and looked at her.   She looked sad.  And vulnerable.  In a way she hadn’t looked since she became herself again.  He cleared his throat and shook his head.  “I’m the cautionary tale.”

 “You’re a national treasure.”

 He frowned.  “Maybe once upon a time.  Not now.  Not for a very long time.”  He sighed.  “I survived because I don’t know how to quit.  It’s not a virtue, it’s just a fact.  I don’t know when to stop.”  He sighed. “I was miserable for a very long time.”

 Her gaze flitted over his features and a small frown tugged at her lips.  “And now?”

 He took a deep breath.  His good hand fisted in the material of the t-shirt she wore.  (His t-shirt).  “I can sleep at night.”

 She gave him a small smile, weighted with sadness.

 He leaned forward, touching his forehead to hers.  “What’s going on?”

 She pulled back, pursing her lips together.  She shook her head.  “I don’t remember a lot from the time I was ...” she sighed, searching for the word, “ _resurrected_.” She frowned, like it was inadequate.  He understood.  

 “I only remember the vaguest bits and pieces,” she said.  “Once I was out of Transigen's control, I remember more.”

Steve wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing.  He figured that time didn’t reflect well on him.  “And after you went with Sharon?”  He had never asked about that time.  Not once.  He figured if Peggy wanted him to know what happened either before, or after, they were together, she would have told him.  Now he felt like he did her a disservice by not questioning.

Peggy sighed, and flopped back on the bed.  She stared up at the ceiling.  “More of the same, bits and pieces at first.  They started the medical interventions right away.”  She took a deep breath.  “After that I recovered quickly.  It cost Sharon a bloody fortune.”  

 “What did they do?” Steve asked.

She shook her head.  “I never asked for the particulars.  Truth be told, I doubt they would have given them to me.  Their technology was astounding, but I suspect a lot of it was ill gained.”

Steve’s brow furrowed.  “You think they were in league with Transigen?”

She looked at him. “In league?  No.  But aware?  Most definitely.  They knew how to fix me.”

Steve was somehow not surprised, but still disgusted.  He knew what it felt like to be a pawn, a tool.  He’d been used.  Used by SHIELD, Hydra, Zola, Stark.  He’d lost his way, lost himself.  They found genetic samples of him, and the rest of the Avengers - along with a whole lot of other enhanced individuals - in the same Transigen facility where Hill found Peggy.  

Steve knew what it meant to be used, like a lab rat.

He hated that Peggy ever had to know that feeling.  Maybe it was a blessing she only had hazy memories of some of it.  

“I love you,” he said abruptly, shocking himself.  He had never said it to her.  Not out loud.

She gave him a soft smile.  “I know.”

 

* * *

 

In the following days, Steve came to realize that Peggy was in the midst of some internal crisis. He felt powerless to help.  If he could fix it for her, he would.  But there was literally nothing he could do.  Something was unsettled within her, and while he could take a good guess at what it was, he couldn’t make it better.

He held her at night, in the dark, hoping he could tell her with his presence, how very much she meant to him.  But by the cold light of day, he felt the emptiness creep back into her.  Like she was trying to solve a riddle with no answer.

 One morning, over coffee, she asked him, “What are we doing?”

 He looked around the apartment.  “Today?”

 She frowned at him.  “Generally speaking, Steve.  What are we doing?”

 He sat there, considering how to respond.

 She sighed and turned away, heading back to the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

Several weeks later, there was a knock on the door, shortly after dawn.  The only visitor they ever had was Tino, and he always called first.  Steve hopped out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and sweats.  He opened the door a crack and then sighed.  “Nat.”  He stood aside and Natasha walked into the apartment, followed by a young girl.  Steve had no idea who the kid was.  He’d never seen her before.  

He turned his attention to Natasha.  She did not look well.  She took a seat at the small table, sighing heavily.  The kid wandered around the living room, looking at things.

“Good morning,” Steve said.

Natasha arched an eyebrow at him.

Peggy walked out of the bedroom, wrapped in a robe.  She looked from Natasha to the kid, her eyes wide with shock.  For a long moment, all she did was stare.  It looked like she’d seen a ghost.  Finally, she shook her head and looked at Natasha.  “I thought you were collecting records.”

Natasha gave her a hard smile.  “I was.  I found considerably more.”

Peggy looked confused.  “Perhaps Stark could - “

“No,” Natasha said, quietly, but firmly.  “Not Stark.   _You_.”

Peggy shook her head and looked at the little girl again.  “I don’t understand.”  Steve could hear the frustration, and a small amount of fear, in her voice.

“I don’t either,” Natasha said.  “But she’s here now and I can’t take her back where I found her.”

Peggy shook her head.  “No, of course not.”  She stood there, just watching the little girl.

“How about coffee?” Steve said.  He walked into the kitchen and started the coffee.  Peggy took a seat at the table, across from Natasha, looking upset and uncomfortable.

Steve didn’t know what the hell the agreement had been between Natasha and Peggy.  He wasn’t even aware they’d spoken since that day Natasha found him in the automat.  But clearly, they had.  And it had something to do with the little girl.  Steve ground the coffee beans and poured them into the French press.  He was just getting ready to add the water when the kid walked into the kitchen.  She just stared.

“Hi,” Steve said.

The kid didn’t blink.

The kettle boiled and as Steve reached for it, the kid scrambled up on the counter, watching intently.

Steve moved the French press closer to her, so she could see.  Her hair was dark, with loose waves.  It just brushed the top of her shoulders. There was a little plastic clip, with a flower, pinning back the hair just above her left ear.  She watched as Steve poured the water into the press.

She got bored, waiting for the coffee and hopped off the counter, returning to survey the living room.  Steve poured coffee for himself, Peggy, and Natasha.  Natasha wasn’t terribly forthcoming with the details about the little girl.  Steve wasn’t sure if that was because she didn’t know, or because she didn’t want to say anything in front of him.  The kid’s name was Jenny, and Natasha stressed that she should be kept off the radar.  Whose radar, Steve didn’t know.  But since he tried to stay off everyone’s radar, he assumed it wouldn’t be a problem.

 It also quickly became clear that Natasha was leaving the kid with them.  Jenny was six, though she looked considerably younger to Steve’s eye.  Maybe he just didn’t know kids.  It wasn’t like he had much experience with them up close.  Jenny didn’t speak, though whether that was due to an inability or an unwillingness, he didn’t know.  Despite not being verbal, it was obvious that the kid was bright.  He could tell, just watching her move around the apartment.

After she finished her coffee, Natasha carefully stood up.  “I need to go.”

“Just give us a minute, please,”  Peggy said.  She walked back to the bedroom, glancing over her shoulder, looking at Steve.  He followed her.  Once they were in the bedroom, Peggy paced in tight circles.

“Who is this kid?” Steve asked.

Peggy shook her head.

Steve opened his mouth to ask another question, but there was a loud thud from the other room.  Steve hurried out the door, followed by Peggy.

Natasha had collapsed, and would have hit the floor, but the kid was holding her up.  Or as much as she could, given the large disparity in their sizes.  It shouldn’t have been possible for the kid to support even Natasha’s meager weight.  Jenny was a hell of a lot stronger than a normal kid.

Steve looked at the two of them for a moment and then crouched down, gently taking Natasha from Jenny.   He looked over his shoulder at Peggy, who was doing her best to avoid his gaze.

 

* * *

 

Steve and Peggy had been in charge of the kid for half the morning, and they were standing in the middle of the emergency room at the local medical facility.  They were doing a shit job of staying off anyone’s radar.  Steve sighed and dragged his hand through his hair.  Peggy was pacing in the hallway, outside the little room where they were triaging Natasha.  Stage four pancreatic cancer.   _Fuck._

The kid investigated the triage room.  She kept her eye on Natasha, though Steve still couldn’t tell if the kid had any particular attachment to Natasha.

“Are you next of kin?” the nurse asked.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.”

The nurse looked like she pitied him.  She gave him a tight smile.  “She isn’t going to get better.”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.”  Natasha had days, maybe weeks.  But not much more than that.

“We’ll keep her overnight,” the nurse said.  “Give her fluids, make her comfortable.  We’ll give you medication to take her home with, to keep her peaceful.”

Steve nodded and the nurse left.  He looked at Natasha.  “Do you have anywhere to go?”

She shook her head.

Steve reached over and took her hand in his.  “You’ll stay with us.”

He waited in the triage room with Natasha and Jenny, until they moved Natasha to a real room.  It wasn’t private, but Natasha didn’t complain.  As soon as they had her settled, she dosed herself with as much pain medication as the machine would allow.  She was asleep in no time.  Peggy was still pacing, different hallway.  She was on her phone, both talking and typing furiously.  He didn’t know who she was talking to, and he didn’t feel up to asking her.

He looked at Jenny.  “Come on.”

The kid looked up at him, and then back to Natasha, but didn’t move.

“Come on,” Steve said again, he motioned with his hand, and started for the door.   He was relieved when the kid fell into step behind him.

 

* * *

 

Steve glanced in the rearview mirror, watching the kid in the backseat of the truck’s crew cab.  “Does she need a carseat?”

Peggy looked over at him, at a loss.  “I have no idea.  When my children were small, there was no such thing.”

Steve frowned.  They stopped at the discount warehouse again and picked up some groceries, and supplies for the kid.  Steve looked at the toys.  He had no idea what the kid might like.  And all she did was hold onto the cart, looking at everything with the same unreadable expression.  Steve finally settled on a coloring book and a bunch of pencils and crayons.  If the kid didn’t like them, he’d use them.

 

* * *

 

When they got back to the apartment, Peggy disappeared out onto the patio with her phone.  Steve and the kid looked at each other.  “I’m Steve,” he said, looking at the little girl.  He nodded to the patio.  “That’s Peggy.”

The kid didn’t say anything.

Steve turned down the small hall and opened the door to the spare room.  There were a couple of boxes in the room.  Peggy’s things, odds and ends.  And, surprisingly, his old shield.  He had no idea Peggy had it.  Maybe she’d found it in storage here, at the compound.  What the room didn’t have, however, was a bed.  “You need somewhere to sleep,” Steve said to Jenny.  “You’re going to be staying here with us.”

She blinked at him.

Did she understand him?  He didn’t even know if she spoke english.  He sighed.  

Steve wasn’t about to spend money on a new bed.  He knew that a large number of the apartments in the complex had been furnished.  There had to be something around.  He considered going and seeing if Tino could find keys, and then decided he didn’t feel like bothering him.  Mostly he didn’t feel like trying to explain who the kid was, or why she was staying with them.

Steve grabbed a couple of tools and headed for the stairwell, up to one of the unoccupied wings.  The kid followed him.  As Steve knelt down in front of the first apartment door, picking the lock, the kid was right there, watching everything he did.  Steve looked over at her.  She met his gaze without fear.  

“This is bad,” he said.  “Breaking and entering is bad.  Stealing is bad.  Don’t do this.”

The kid just looked at him.

“Fuck,” Steve said, pushing the door open and walking into the apartment.

“Fuck,” the kid said, following behind him.

Steve groaned.

 

* * *

 

The first apartment was a bust.  It was completely empty.  The second apartment had obviously been home to a family of racoons.  As Steve was frowning at what had been a bed, before the racoons turned it into a nest.  He was going to have to tell Tino about this.  

Slowly, Steve realized the kid wasn’t there.  He walked back into the living room.  “Jenny?”

He walked out into the hall and saw that the door to the next apartment was standing open.  It had been closed and locked only a few minutes earlier.  He reached for his back pocket, where he’d put the lockpicks.  They were gone.

Frowning, he walked into the apartment.  He found Jenny in the master bedroom, looking triumphantly at the bed.  He sighed.

 

* * *

 

Peggy was still out on the patio.  Steve set up the bed in the spare room, all under Jenny’s watchful eye.  She seemed to be particularly interested in how easily he moved the bed and frame around by himself.  “I’m stronger than most people,” he said.

She didn’t reply, but for reasons he didn’t understand, she seemed to relax.

He found an extra set of sheets in the closet and made up the bed, grabbing a blanket off the couch.  Through the entire process, the kid just watched him.  When he was done, he looked at her.  “Okay?”

She didn’t say anything.  Was she scared?  Angry?  Upset?  He honestly didn’t know.  And he felt helpless, not having any idea how to reach out to her.  What did he have to say to a six year old?  What did kids even like?  He didn’t have a clue.

Shaking his head, Steve walked back out to the living room.  He was standing there, watching Peggy pace and whisper heatedly into her phone.  Decades ago, he would have been able to hear her as clearly as if she was standing right next to him.  But too many explosions in close quarters had done a number on his hearing.  And he couldn’t read lips.

He heard something and cocked his head to the side.  He frowned.  If he could hear it, it was loud.  That kid was jumping on the bed.

He walked back down the short hallway and stood in the doorway.  

Jenny was standing by the window, looking at him, cool as could be.  Innocent, even.

Steve narrowed his gaze at her.  “There are footprints on the blankets.”

She smiled at him.

 

* * *

 

Steve’s moment of connection with Jenny didn’t last long.  He showed her the coloring books and pencils, but she didn’t seem interested.  And he couldn’t get her to talk again.  He made a simple lunch of sandwiches, and was relieved to see that she ate.  

Jenny didn’t looked starved, or otherwise malnourished.  But she looked neglected.  He tried not to let that get to him.  For years he’d avoided getting close to anyone but Peggy.  But the way that kid looked at him.  Those huge dark eyes.  Jesus.

Peggy finally came back inside.  There was so much Steve wanted to ask her, but he didn’t want to ask in front of Jenny, so he held his tongue.

In the afternoon, Steve kept himself busy doing odds and ends around the compound.  The kid trailed after him, never saying anything.  But he knew she was watching everything.  Nothing escaped her notice, especially any cursing he did.  He could hear her practicing as she trotted after him.

By the time they made it back to the apartment, they were both covered in grime and damp from the ceaseless rain.  Steve started to head for the shower, but Peggy stopped him, shaking her head.  “Her first.”

Steve looked at the kid.  “I can’t give her a bath.”

“Please, Steve,” she said.  “I still need to make more calls.”

 

* * *

 

The kid watched as Steve poured dish soap into the water, creating mounds of frothy bubbles.  Kneeling on the floor as he was, he and the kid were about at eye level.  He looked at her.  “If you get it in your eyes, it’ll burn.”

 She just blinked at him.  He sighed.  

 Once the tub was full, he pushed himself to his feet and turned off the water.  He pointed out the towel.  “Don’t make a mess.”

 Twenty minutes later, Peggy yelled, “Steve, there’s water pouring out from under the bathroom door.”

 

* * *

 

Steve was more soaked than he’d been from the rain.  That kid got water _everywhere_ .  It was on the goddamn _ceiling._ How did she manage that?  At least she looked clean.  He currently had her wrapped in a giant towel, since her change of clothes was sopping wet.

Peggy frowned at them as Steve sat Jenny in a chair at the table, trying to distract her with the coloring books.  “What did you do to her hair?”

“Huh?” Steve looked at Peggy.  “Nothing.”

“Precisely,” she said with a small laugh.  Peggy got a bottle of some hair stuff and a small brush.  She looked at Jenny and patted the couch cushion next to her.  “Come here, darling.”

To Steve’s surprise, Jenny waddled across the floor, wrapped in the massive towel, and perched herself on the couch next to Peggy.  She sat there patiently as Peggy worked the knots out of her hair, until she could easily pull a brush through it.  By the time her hair was combed, her clothes were also dry.  Peggy helped her dress, and then Steve took her into the spare room and tucked her under the covers.  She sat there, blinking at him.

“You’re going to live here with us now,” Steve told her.

She looked at him.

“What do you think of that?” he asked.

“Fuck,” she said, deadpan.

Steve snorted.  “I don’t necessarily disagree with your assessment of the situation.”  He ruffled her damp hair.  “Go to sleep.”

 

* * *

 

Several hours later, as he and Peggy were heading to bed, Peggy glanced in the door to Jenny’s room.  She turned and looked at Steve.  “Where is she?”  

He frowned, but looked inside.  The bed was empty and the blanket was gone.  He grabbed a flashlight and looked under the bed.  Nothing.  

Carefully, he pulled open the closet door.  There, on the floor of the closet, was Jenny.  It looked like she’d made a nest with the blanket.  And then she’d pulled his shield over all of it, hiding underneath.  Asleep, she looked even smaller than she did when she was awake.  He didn’t have words for the tight feeling in the middle of his chest as he looked at her.

Steve shook his head and pushed the door back the way he found it.

He and Peggy went to their room.  Steve closed the door and turned to Peggy.  “Who is she?”

Peggy shook her head, staring absently at the wall.  “No one.”

He sighed and sat down on the bed.  “I get you and Natasha had been working on this for quite a while. Please, just tell me who she is.”

“I’m not being evasive,” she said quietly.  “She’s no one.  She’s a project.”

“Huh?”

“Jenny,” she said.  “Short for Genesis.  The code name for the project.  From the Transigen facility responsible for my reappearance.”

Steve felt chilled.  “You had Natasha looking into it.”

Peggy nodded.  “I expected her to find a paper trail, not a child.”

Steve shook his head.  “So who is she?  What is she?”  He glanced toward the closed bedroom door.  “Is she a clone?  Or a fabrication?  Something like Vision?”

“No,” Peggy said quietly.  “She’s just a child.”

“Whose child?”

Peggy took a deep breath, her eyes shiny.  “Ours.  I think.”

Steve looked at her.  He opened his mouth and then closed it again.  “Huh?”

“ _Your_ child, to be more specific,” Peggy said.  “It’s not like Transigen saw any benefit to using my genetic material.  They wanted me for my memories, not my abilities.”  She sighed, looking away from him.  “I believe that I was merely convenient to them.  They went to all the trouble of resurrecting me and I certainly didn’t turn out to be as useful as they’d hoped.  I think they wanted to recoup some of their investment, using me to conceive and carry a child.  The second generation of Erskine’s formula.  If she could have been weaponized, she would have been a huge asset to them.”

Steve was quiet for several long moments, trying to let that sink in.  Transigen created a child, Jenny.  She was _his_ child, and Peggy’s child.  How did that happen?  He shook his head and stood up, dragging a hand through his hair.  He looked down at Peggy.  She looked so lost.  “Do you remember it?  Do you remember her?”

She shook her head.  “My memories of those times, Steve.”  She took a deep breath.  “I often can’t differentiate between memories and delusions.  But I started having nightmares, after left the treatment center Sharon had arranged.”  She looked up and met his gaze.  “I had to know.  I asked Natasha to look into it.  I was hoping she wouldn’t find anything.”

Steve took a deep breath, and sat down on the bed.  He took Peggy’s hand in his own.  “You _know_ she’s ours?  Or you _think_ she’s ours?”

Peggy held his gaze for a long moment.  “I’m as certain as I can be.  I believe that I had a child, after they brought me back.  I already told you, my memory of that time is not terribly reliable, but yes.  I’m as sure as I can be that she’s ours.”

Steve took a deep breath, trying to let that sink in.  He looked from Peggy, to the closed bedroom door, and back to Peggy.  “Who did this?”

She shook her head.  “I don’t know who Transigen is for certain.  They appear to have loose affiliations with what’s left of Hydra.  But I have no idea what their grand plan is.  They can’t take over the world with one little girl.”

He sighed, frustrated, angry.  After everything Peggy had already been through, now they had to grapple with the fact that she’d been used to conceive and carry a child.  And that little girl - their daughter - had been created for the sole purpose of being a weapon.

“Jesus,” Steve cursed.  Over the years, he’d second guessed his decision to take Erskine’ serum countless times.  But he’d never dreamed it could be twisted like this.  Like he and Peggy weren’t even people, just genetic donors.  Like their child wasn’t a human, so much as a tool.

Mechanically, Steve and Peggy undressed and got into bed.  Peggy reached over and turned off the light.  In the dark, they curled together beneath the covers.  

END CHAPTER


	4. Chapter 4

Steve opened his eyes and immediately jumped.  Jenny was standing next to the bed, already dressed, watching him.  He pushed himself into a sitting position.  “That’s creepy.”

She just blinked at him and pointed to the door.

“Yeah, okay, fine,” he said, groaning.  “Get out so I can change.”

Jenny glanced over at Peggy, who was still asleep.  Jenny looked like she was trying to figure out why Steve and Peggy were sharing a bed.  Steve wasn’t about to explain.  Jenny looked back to Steve and then walked out of the room, closing the door.

Steve scrubbed a hand over his face.  Was Jenny really theirs?  With her dark hair and eyes, she looked like Peggy.  She was small, like he had been.  Maybe she was theirs.  It was a terrifying thought.  He just wasn’t sure if he was terrified it was true, or terrified it wasn’t.  The idea of having a physical, genetic connection to another living person seemed almost unthinkable.  He’d been so alone for so long.  He felt completely disconnected from the regular flow of human life, births, deaths, all of it had been so abstract to him.

Jenny banged on the other side of the door.  “Hurry.”

Steve scrubbed a hand over his face.  The connection definitely wasn’t abstract anymore.

 

* * *

 

Once he was dressed, Steve found Jenny standing at the front door, waiting.  He shook his head.  “Breakfast first.”

She tucked her chin toward her chest and glared at him.  She smacked the door.

“Breakfast,” he repeated.  He went over and gently put his hand on her back, guiding her to the table.  She didn’t fight him.  He set a bowl, cereal, and milk on the table, and then went to make his coffee.  He watched as she carefully mounded as much cereal as she could into the bowl and then poured milk on it.  She tucked into it like she hadn’t eaten in weeks, rather than hours.

Steve was halfway through his cup of coffee when Peggy walked out of the bedroom.  She didn’t look like she’d slept very much.  He felt the same way.  “We gotta go get Nat,” Steve said.  “They’re sending her home this morning.”  He didn’t add ‘ _to die_ ’, but they both heard it.

Peggy nodded, and tightened the belt on her robe.  “I have to check on something this morning.  You go.  I’ll meet you back here this afternoon.”  She looked at Jenny, a small frown tugging at her lips.  “Take her.  Keep her close.”

 

* * *

 

Once Steve was done with his coffee, and the kid was done with her cereal, they loaded up in the truck and headed into town.  Natasha was still asleep when they got to the hospital.  But Natasha’s insurance was crap, just like his, and the hospital needed the bed.  They had her up and discharged in under an hour.  The nurse sent the prescriptions to the pharmacy.  Steve could pick them up on the way home.

Steve loaded Nat in the truck.  She didn’t say much.  He could tell she was in quite a bit of pain.  Jenny watched everything without saying a word.  Steve didn’t know if she was happy to see Natasha or not.

Steve left Nat and the kid in the truck while he went inside and picked up the prescriptions.  He looked at the small glossy purple boxes, situated just to the right of the condoms and emergency contraception.  Muttering under his breath, he grabbed two boxes and tossed them down onto the counter, along with Nat’s prescriptions.

The clerk picked up the two boxes and looked at Steve in question.  “Busy day?”

Steve gave her a withering look.  “Just ring it up.”

 

* * *

 

Once they were back in the parking lot at the compound, Steve loaded the kid up like a tiny little pack mule.  She carried the bags while he carried Nat inside.  He settled Natasha on the couch and gave her a hefty dose of pain meds.  Once she was more comfortable, he called Tino, who managed to locate a hospital bed in record time.  Steve didn’t even bother asking where he found it.  They wheeled it into the living room.

After Tino left, Jenny helped Steve make the bed.  By that time, Peggy was off the phone.  Together they moved Natasha into the bed.  Thankfully, she slept through most of it.  

Peggy got another call and disappeared into the bedroom.  Steve and the kid ate lunch.  Afterward, Steve grabbed the bag from the pharmacy and took out one of the boxes.  He unpacked the kit.  He had to go get his goddamn reading glasses, to be able to read the instructions.  The kid perched on the chair next to him, watching all of it.  

She ran a finger lightly over the shiny purple packaging.  “What is it?”

“A DNA paternity test,” he said, peering at her over the top of the reading glasses.  

She looked at him.

“It’ll tell us if I’m your father.”

She didn’t even blink.

He frowned at her.  “Do you know what father means?”

She nodded, and then said very quietly, “Daddy.”

Steve took a deep breath, trying to ignore that searing pain in the middle of his chest.  Schmidt, Hydra, and the Chutauri hadn't managed to kill him.  Odds were a very small child saying the word 'daddy' wouldn't either.  Probably.  “Do you want me to be your dad?”

Jenny shrugged, and sat back in her chair, watching him coolly.  How many times had he seen that sort of forced detachment from people who had been conditioned not to expect anything, not to  _ want _ anything?

He took one of the cotton buds out of its sterile wrapping and stuck it inside his cheek.  He swabbed it around and then removed it and placed it into the prepackaged vial of solution.  He unwrapped the second cotton bud and looked at the kid.  “Your turn.”

Dutifully, she opened her mouth and he took the cheek swab.  He placed her cotton bud in a second vial of solution.  She watched, curiously.  He had the distinct impression she was trying to appear unaffected.  It broke his heart.  Whether or not she was his, no kid should have to live like that.

He looked at her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze.  Gently, he set a knuckle under her chin.  She looked at him.  “I’ll take care of you,” he swore quietly.  “No matter what this test says.  You’ll be safe with me.”

She swallowed thickly and looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

He mixed the solutions as directed and then placed the samples into a tray.  He had to download a goddamn app for his phone and get a one time key.  What a fucking pain in the ass.  He managed not to curse out loud, only because he knew how much she hung on every word he said.  Especially the bad ones.

Five minutes later, he had the results.  He looked from the phone to the kid.  

She pushed herself up on her knees and braced her hand against his shoulder to be able to look at the phone’s screen.  She glanced up at him.  “Green.  You’re my dad.”

He nodded.  “Looks that way.”

She nodded.  If she was surprised, it didn’t show.  He had no idea if she was pleased or not.  He suspected that he wasn’t the father she’d dreamed of having.  But maybe he was better than nothing.

“Is that why I’m strong?” she asked.

“Probably,” he said.  

Peggy opened the bedroom door and Jenny grabbed the other kit.  Peggy had barely taken a seat at the table when the kid held the cotton bud out to her.  Peggy balked and looked at Steve in question.

“Open up,” he said.  “Paternity test time.”  

Frowning, Peggy opened her mouth and Jenny swabbed the inside of her cheek, and then handed the cotton bud to Steve.  

“Is it worth pointing out that I already know I’m not her father?” Peggy asked.

Steve gave her a sour look.  “The basic test should work on either parent, wiseass.  They assume you already know who the mother is.”

“Wiseass,” Jenny said.

Steve groaned.  “Language,” he said gently.  

Jenny gave him a look that told him she was well aware of the hypocrisy of him telling her to watch her language.

He repeated the steps he’d used on the first kit, and then waited.  Peggy looked over at Natasha, who was still sleeping.  She glanced back at Steve.  “I take it you already used the first kit.”  

Steve nodded.  “She’s mine.”

Peggy nodded, seeming unsurprised.

His phone chirped and he looked at the results.  “And she’s yours.”

Peggy leaned back in her chair.  Her expression softened and she reached over, placing her hand on Jenny’s.  Jenny allowed the contact for several moments, but then climbed out of her chair and disappeared into her room.  Steve and Peggy both watched her go.

 

* * *

 

Natasha slept the bulk of the day.  Steve, Peggy, and Jenny ate dinner.  Steve got Natasha to wake up enough to take a little bit of soup, but she waved him off after a few bites.

Peggy cleaned up the dishes and Steve took Jenny into the bathroom.  He ran approximately two inches of water into the tub and looked at her.  “This is all you get until you prove you can be trusted.”

She glared at him.

He pointed a finger at her.  “I’m keeping my eye on you.”

She stuck out her tongue.

Steve closed the door.  He walked back to the kitchen and stood there with Peggy.  

She looked at him.  “We have a daughter.”

He nodded.  “Yeah.”  He wondered if she felt as lost as he did.  He shook his head.  “You should have seen the look the clerk gave me when I bought the tests.”  He frowned.  “A guy my age.  Buying not one, but two, paternity tests.”

Peggy snorted and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  “You should have told her that 2036 was a busy year.”

He looked down at her, frowning.  “I wasn’t even there for the conception.”

Peggy reached up and touched his cheek lightly.  “I know,” she said quietly.  “I’m sorry.”

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.  Peggy had been victimized considerably more than he had.  She’d had no choice or consent in what happened to her.  Steve didn’t regret Jenny.  And he didn’t think Peggy did either.  But it was spectacularly fucked up.

Peggy sighed and leaned against him, resting her head against his chest.  “I wonder what happened to the other women.  I remember a few of them.  Most of them were so young.”

“They’re dead.”

Steve and Peggy both turned and looked at Natasha.

She cleared her throat.  “As far as I could find, the rest of the carriers - sometimes they were the genetic mothers, sometimes not - were girls they pulled off the streets in Mexico.  Almost all of them were liquidated as soon as the kids were born.”

“Jesus,” Steve breathed, his grip on Peggy tightening.  “You found the records?”

Natasha nodded.  “There are other files, too,” she said, “on my phone.”  She pointed to her bag.

Peggy got the phone and took it to Natasha.  She and Steve moved closer to Natasha’s bed.  Natasha tapped the screen, pulled up several videos and handed it to Peggy.  Steve leaned in close, his stomach tightening as he watched.

The video was a series of clips, filmed over what looked like years.  There was Jenny, being trained, like she was an animal bred for fighting.  Clip after clip of her being coached, viciously punished, coached again.  There was video of her in a cell, little more than a cage.  It looked like she lived there.  It was a bare cinderblock space, with a metal ledge bolted to the wall.  There was one clip where she’d taken all the bedding off the ledge, and made a nest beneath it.  

She’d been scared.  And alone.  And people had hurt her.  Again and again.

Steve wanted to hunt down the bastards who did this, and tear them limb from limb.  He shook his head, and Peggy finally stopped the videos.  Peggy swallowed audibly.  Her knuckles, as she clutched the phone, were white.

Steve looked away.  He dragged a hand through his hair.  “Jesus.”  He shuddered and turned to look at Natasha.  “Are the people responsible still alive?”  

There was a glint in Natasha’s eye that made Steve think she’d extracted some measure of revenge, on behalf of all those horrors.  

But then Natasha frowned.  “There’s a man.  Donald Pierce.  Ex-military.  He runs a group called the Reavers.  They clean up Transigen’s loose ends.  The company will send him.”  

Natasha coughed and Steve got a cup of water.  He helped her take a drink.  She took a deep breath.  “They were in the process of shuttering the entire project,” she said.  “They thought they could train children to be weapons.  It didn’t turn out the way they wanted.”  There was a heaviness to her words that Steve knew had as much to do with Natasha’s own childhood, as it had to do with Jenny.  “A weapon that won’t fight is no use to anyone,” Natasha said.  She looked at Steve, and then over to Peggy.  “Even as young as she is, Jenny was too wilful, too defiant.  She wouldn’t follow orders.”

Steve nodded, feeling an overwhelming rush of pride.  Jenny had been treated like an animal her entire life, grown and trained to be a controllable monster.  But she fought it.  She refused to do what they wanted.  Even as young as she was, she knew herself.  She knew what was right.  She was  _ good _ .

When was the last time Steve thought that about anyone or anything?

Peggy leaned into him and threaded her fingers through his.  He concentrated on the feel of her at his side.  Jenny wasn’t alone.  Not anymore.  She had the both of them.

He looked at Natasha.  “Any idea when this Pierce will come looking for her?”  Steve wasn’t afraid of Pierce getting ahold of Jenny.  That would never happen.  It wasn’t an option.  But Steve was itching for the chance to even the score.

Natasha shook her head.  “I don’t know.  The nurses and medical staff, they got a lot of the kids out.  Pierce will probably hunt them down first.  I would.  They’re easier targets.  After that, he’ll come looking for her.”

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but he turned as Jenny opened the bathroom door.  She was standing there, in her pajamas, staring him down, defiant.  Steve crossed the room to her.  Her chin was jutted out, her gaze fierce.

He looked past her into the bathroom.  There was water everywhere.

Slowly, he crouched down in front of her, meeting and holding her gaze.  He lifted his hand and she flinched, but she didn’t cower.  Steve’s breath caught in his throat and he forced himself to be perfectly still.  He waited for her to relax.  

Steve wasn’t great with human psychology, but even he could see that what she’d done was a test.  She was pushing him, and his limits.  Seeing if he would punish her, if he would try and force her into a mold.

When her breathing had evened out and her muscles relaxed, he reached out again, his motions slow and deliberate.  He tucked her hair behind her ear.  “It’s bedtime, kiddo,” he said gently.

She frowned at him, like she didn’t know what to make of him.  She looked over her shoulder at all the water.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “I see it.  I’ll clean it up later.  You need sleep.”

Peggy came to stand next to them and held out her hand to Jenny.  “Come on, darling.”

Steve stayed crouched where he was, watching as they walked down the hallway to Jenny’s room.  She glanced over her shoulder at him, seeming confused.

* * *

 

Once Natasha was settled for the night, Steve peeked in Jenny’s room.  No one was on the bed.  He walked around the bed.  Jenny was in her nest in the closet, asleep.  Peggy was lying on the floor near her, holding her hand.  

Steve sat down on the edge of Jenny’s bed and looked at Peggy.  “What are we going to do?”

“Raise a child, apparently,” Peggy said thickly.  She wiped tears from her cheeks.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.”  He took a deep breath.  “Is this what you want?”

Peggy looked at him.  “I don’t have a choice,” she said bluntly.  She sighed, and a small smile curved her lips.  “But it feels right.”  She shook her head.  “I’ve been so lost, trying to find my place in this life, trying to find out where I fit -  _ if _ I fit - with my family.  Perhaps this is the universe telling me I have to let go of the life I finished and concentrate on the one I have today.  She needs us.  We can’t abandon her.”

Steve nodded.  He knew what she meant about feeling lost.  He’d felt the same way for so long.  Over the years, he’d learned to expect nothing, to roll with the punches as well as he could.  

He hadn’t envisioned a future that would ever involve children.  But Jenny was their child, and she needed them both.  It seemed simple enough.

 

* * *

 

“Hurry up,” Steve said, looking over his shoulder at Jenny, who was trailing in his wake as usual.  She narrowed her eyes at him, but followed.  Steve knew she was out of her element.  Jenny had a very set idea of how adults behaved.  And he and Peggy weren’t fitting into that model.

Steve opened the door and waited for Jenny.  She walked under his arm and onto the pool deck.  She just stood there, her eyes round as saucers.

“I figured since you liked making such a mess with water, you should do it in here,” Steve said.

Jenny let out a yell of pure joy and jumped into the pool with all her clothes on.

“Shit,” Steve said, watching her.  

At least she could swim.  She popped up from the water and gave him a blinding smile.  Then she yelled “Shit!” as loud as she could, giggling maniacally as the sound echoed off the walls.

Steve groaned.  “Language.”

 

END CHAPTER

 


	5. Chapter 5

Jenny loved to swim.  If it was up to her, Steve was pretty sure that’s all she’d do.  Given how much Peggy enjoyed swimming as well, they spent a lot of time in the pool.  Steve hadn’t been in this good of shape for years.  (Or this waterlogged.  He tried not to think too hard on that.)

Steve felt like they were all slowly figuring out how to be together.  Not necessarily a family.  Not yet.  But they were learning each other’s rhythms, quirks.  Steve and Peggy made a pact with each other not to force things with Jenny.  They watched her, let her set the parameters for engagement.  They tried to be patient and kind.  They didn’t push.  Some days that was easier than others.

Jenny tested her boundaries a lot.  It was obnoxious.  But Steve understood.  She’d never lived anything that could even remotely be considered a normal life.  She’d been a caged animal.  According to Natasha, Jenny didn’t even have a birth certificate.  She didn’t know how to live with other people in a normal setting.  Not that Steve thought their lives were particularly normal.  But they certainly weren’t close to the unending cycle of tasks and punishment she had endured at Transigen.

Steve bit his tongue a lot.  He let a lot of stuff slide.  He had to be very choosy about when and how he set hard boundaries.  And he accepted that some of the time, Jenny wasn’t happy with him because of it.  He hoped that in time, she would learn that he was doing it out of care, not a desire to control.  But she was six.  It was going to take a long time.  Jenny still didn’t talk very much, but it was clear that she could, if she chose.  Slowly, she was coming out of her shell, making her preferences known, beyond just her love of swimming.  She liked food a lot.  She preferred being outside, even if the weather was awful.  Steve tried not to think about how much of her life she’d spent locked in a cage.

Steve's daily routine had changed a lot.  He stopped helping with Tino’s repo jobs.  He couldn’t do that kind of work with Jenny in tow.  He and Jenny spent a lot of time exploring the compound.  They found a number of kids’ books, as well as some toys, that they took back to the apartment.  Jenny trailed after Steve most days, but it was Peggy she really warmed to.  Peggy would sit on the couch in the evenings, reading a book, or watching a show.  Jenny would curl at her side without a word, coloring, or playing games on Steve’s phone.  At bedtime, Peggy would sit and read with Jenny for hours.  Jenny wouldn’t sleep unless Peggy held her hand as she drifted off.

One night after Jenny was asleep, Steve slowly closed her door and turned to Peggy.  “You’re really good with her, you know.”

Peggy shrugged.

“I guess you must have had a lot of practice, with your sons, when they were little.”

Peggy sighed.  “Actually, no,” she said quietly.  She frowned.  “I was very ... _busy_ , when they were little.”

Steve felt like a heel.  “You had an important job.”

Peggy looked at him and then away.  “It certainly seemed like it at the time.”

He reached out for her, but she stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself.  “I don’t mean to sound maudlin.  I made a choice with my sons.  I did what I had to do at the time.  It can’t be helped now.”  

She looked at the closed door to Jenny’s room.  

“Are you okay?” Steve asked.  He felt terrible for trying to praise her and handling it so clumsily.  He truthfully didn’t even know how to approach the enormity of everything Jenny’s arrival in their lives meant.  All he knew was that Peggy seemed better at parenting than he did.

Peggy looked at him, and gave him a soft smile.  “I hate what happened to her.  I hate what happened to me.  I hate that you had no choice in it.”  She took a deep, shuddering breath.  “But regret won’t change it.  Sometimes the best you can do is to move forward.”

Steve nodded.  He liked the sentiment, but he wasn’t naive enough to take it at face value.  There had been a lot of times in his life when he thought he was moving forward, only to see in retrospect that he’d been spinning in circles.  But Peggy was right, focusing on how wronged they had all been in this situation wouldn’t change anything.  It wouldn’t help them.

Peggy took a deep breath.  “I’m glad I have the opportunity to spend time with her.”  She gave him a soft smile.  ”And you.”  Slowly, she closed the distance between them.  She wrapped her arms around his waist.  

He pressed a kiss to her temple.  “I love you, Peggy.”

 

* * *

 

Natasha was hanging in there, and Steve was really trying to make the most of the limited time they had left.  Either he or Peggy was always with her.  They never left her alone.  She had been adamant about not contacting any of the other Avengers.  Steve nodded, but then called Clint anyway.  He arrived the next day.  Natasha had looked exasperated, but maybe a little grateful as well.

They gave Natasha and Clint privacy for the day.  Steve knew that Natasha had a hard time being awake for very long.  He knew that she and Clint would talk, and then she’d have to sleep for a while.  The cycle would repeat for most of the day.

He and Peggy and Jenny spent the day walking the wooded trails around the compound.  Jenny loved it.  She would race ahead of them.  Steve would call to her if she got out of sight.  She would come racing back, her cheeks red from the wind and cold, smiling from ear to ear.

When they came back to the apartment that night, Clint was quiet.  He joined them for dinner.  They caught up.  Clint seemed to like Jenny a lot, though she kept her distance.  He didn’t push.

That night, while Peggy was putting Jenny to bed, Steve walked Clint out to his rental car.

“Thanks for calling,” Clint said.  He gave Steve a wry smile.  “I bet she told you not to.”

Steve laughed, but didn’t deny it.

 

* * *

 

“No, the crate’s in the back,” Steve said, pointing to the bed of the truck.  Tino had thrown a job his way, smuggling items over the border.  Nothing dangerous, Russian caviar, Venezuelan chocolate, a lot of cheap American dairy products, various odds and ends that customs would love to either confiscate, or tax the shit out of.  Quick job, high returns.

Charles-Alexandre closed the lid on the bin he was inspecting and motioned to his hired muscle to unload the truck.  He started counting out bills for Steve.  Steve couldn’t stand Charles-Alexandre.  The guy was a dick.  But the pay was good.  Steve just wanted to get out of there and get home.  He glanced around and saw Jenny trailing after a feral looking cat.  It figured.  Any time they were around animals - cats, dogs, horses - Jenny was enthralled.

Charles-Alexandre paid up.  The crates were all unloaded.  Steve texted Tino to let him know the job was done.  Then he looked around.  He didn’t see Jenny.  They were in a railyard.  It was nothing but industrial and commercial space as far as the eye could see.  God only knew what kind of trouble she could get into.  “Jenny!” he yelled.  Fuck, where did she run off to?

Steve had been looking around for a solid twenty minutes when he turned a corner and saw two kids, young teenagers, at the other end of an enormous warehouse.  It looked like they were tormenting the cat Jenny had been following.  Steve started toward them.  He watched as one of the kids threw a rock at the cat.  It landed solidly.  Steve could hear the kid laughing.  Jenny immediately put herself between the cat and the older boys.  Steve was on alert in an instant. He jogged toward them.

He could hear the boys yelling at Jenny to get lost.  She stayed where she was, crouched over the cat, glaring at them.  The taller of the two kids walked over to her and reached down, grabbing for the cat’s tail.  Steve opened his mouth to yell when Jenny let out an ear piercing scream and launched herself at the boy.  Steve stopped in his tracks, watching in open mouthed horror.  He knew Jenny had been trained to fight, but he’d never seen her in action.  

Jenny moved like Natasha, making the most of her bodyweight, and using every advantage to get leverage.  She wrapped her legs around the boy’s neck and swung her body around, pulling him off balance, dragging him to the ground.  When he was down, she pounced on him, delivering vicious blows.  The kid was bleeding, screaming for his friend to pull Jenny off.  The friend shook his head and backed away.  

Steve shook off his initial shock and ran for Jenny.  He called her name.  She didn’t respond.  He grabbed her shoulder.  She turned on him, teeth bared.  “ _Hey_ ,” Steve said.

She lunged at him, enraged, beyond reason.  He held her at arm’s length, so she couldn’t attack him.  “Jenny,” he said quietly, dropping to his knees.

That seemed to get through to her.  She stopped.  There was blood - the boy’s blood - splattered across the lower half of her face.  One of her braids had come loose and her jacket was torn.  She was breathing hard, shaking.

“Jenny,” he said again softly.

She took a deep breath and shivered.  She looked around, seeming to come back to herself.  “Daddy?”

Steve felt like he’d just been hit with a tank.  His chest was tight and there was a strange film over his eyes.  At the periphery of Steve’s vision, the boy scrambled to his feet and ran for the exit.  

Jenny pulled back out of Steve’s unresisting grip, looking around frantically.  She visibly relaxed when she saw the cat.

Steve cleared his throat and pushed himself to his feet.  He nodded back in the direction of the truck.  “Let’s go.”

Jenny shook her head.  “Kitty.”

Steve looked at the cat.  It was filthy.  And old.  It was missing an eye and an ear.  There were bald patches on its side, and it looked like it hadn’t eaten in days.  He shook his head.  “We need to go, sweetheart.”

“ _Kitty_!”

 

* * *

 

Peggy opened her mouth to say something and then shut it again.  She blinked at Steve.  “Why do we have a cat now?” 

Steve couldn’t meet her gaze.  “It’s complicated.”

 

* * *

 

Princess was an ugly cat.  And male as well, though Jenny apparently wasn’t going to let that get in the way of what she felt was the perfect name.  The vet removed several of the cat’s rotting and abscessed teeth, as well as neutered him.  Steve spent a small fortune on antibiotics and various ointments.  Princess, predictably, appreciated none of this, and scratched the shit out of Steve on several occasions as payment.

Princess was at least clean now, though.  And with regular food - though Jesus, that food stank - he was looking a little better.  But he was never going to be a beauty.  Jenny didn’t seem to care.  Princess, when not taking out his rage at Steve, was making himself at home.  He planted himself on Natasha’s lap and didn’t seem to move for days on end.  

Despite Princess’s constant vigil, Natasha was a little worse every day.  She spent most of her time asleep.  When she was awake, she had a lot of trouble tracking mentally.  She would repeat the same stories over and over.

Steve knew they didn’t have long.  

 

* * *

 

Steve and Jenny were sorting through one of the hangars, looking for old drone parts, when Steve got a text from Peggy.  They hurried back to the apartment.  Peggy met them at the door, her features tight.  Steve could hear Natasha’s breathing the moment he stepped in the apartment, and they all knew what it meant.  Steve and Peggy traded off, taking turns sitting at Natasha’s bedside, and trying to distract Jenny.   

Jenny didn’t say anything, but it was clear she wasn’t particularly interested in any of the distractions they tried to provide.  She sat in the corner of the couch, with Princess at her side, and watched in silence.  Steve knew she’d seen this before.

It was early afternoon when Natasha finally passed.  Steve covered her with a sheet and made the call.  It was an hour before the women from the funeral home arrived.  Steve went with them.  It was morbid, he knew.  But he wasn’t taking any chances.  No tissue samples, no body swapping.  Natasha would rest in peace.  That was the least he could do for her.

Steve took the urn back to the apartment.  He wasn’t sure if he was impressed or disgusted with just how efficient death had become.  When he got home, Peggy was sitting on the couch.  Jenny was asleep, with her head cradled in Peggy’s lap.  Princess was wedged between the two of them, asleep.  Steve carefully moved Jenny to her bed.  Princess followed, curling up against her.

Steve and Peggy sat together on the couch for a long time, not speaking.  Peggy wiped absently at her wet cheeks.  “Did you call Clint?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.”

Peggy sniffled loudly.  “She didn’t want a service.”

“Yeah,” Steve said again.  “I know.”

Peggy took a deep breath.  “We can scatter her ashes tomorrow.”

Steve sighed.  “Yeah.”

* * *

 

 

He was alone in the shower when he finally broke down, sobbing, his body shaking with the force of it.  

Natasha was really gone.

 

* * *

 

The day looked like it might rain, but so far it was just overcast and blustery.  A crappy spring day, where it didn’t feel much like spring.  They were going to scatter Natasha's ashes at the old quarry.  It’s what she said she wanted.  The quarry was a good six mile hike, one way.  They could have driven, or borrowed quads from the compound.  But they decided to walk.  Steve, Peggy and Jenny all bundled up and headed out.  Once they started walking it wasn’t too cold.  The trees, even mostly bare, cut the wind.  

They walked in silence along the trails.  Jenny kept up, mostly at Peggy’s side, holding her hand.  Steve walked behind, carrying the backpack, watchful.  They’d all been consumed with Jenny’s arrival and Natasha’s health.  But now that things had changed, they needed to start thinking about the future.  Steve didn’t know much about Transigen or its goons.  But he did know that sitting still and letting them find them wasn’t a long term plan.  They were going to have to move, and soon.

It finally started drizzling, as they neared the quarry.  They picked up the pace, and made it to the shelter of one of the old access tunnels, but even with the rainjackets, they were all very damp.  The rain finally stopped and the sun came out.  Steve took the urn out of the pack.  Jenny watched him in silence.

They walked to the edge of the quarry.  It had filled in with water over the years.  It was probably a hundred feet down to the surface of the water.  It was deep blue and crystal clear.  Nothing grew in the water.  Too many chemicals.  It was stunningly beautiful.  But deadly.  Steve thought that fit Natasha pretty well.

Peggy said words in Russian.  Steve didn’t know what they meant.  But they weren’t for him.

He took the lid off the urn and scattered the ashes, watching them disperse through the air.  He put the empty urn back in the pack and sniffed loudly.  “She’s with Buck now.”

 

* * *

 

They headed back down the trail.  The rain had been just enough to make everything muddy and unpleasant.  They all had to be careful not to lose their footing.  Jenny started grousing before they’d gone a mile.  It was out of character for her.  She typically didn’t complain, unless Steve was taking his phone away from her, or refusing to let her eat her bodyweight in lasagna.

She started stomping down the trail and slipped, landing hard on her butt in a mud puddle.  She just sat there and started crying pitifully.

“Oh, darling,” Peggy said, going to her and trying to help her up.

Jenny threw herself down on her back, wailing.  Peggy looked at Steve.  

He walked over and scooped her up, mud and all.  She squirmed and cried for a bit, but then fell silent.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, tucking her face against his collarbone.  By the time they hit the halfway point, she was asleep.

 

* * *

 

Jenny woke up when they got back to the apartment.  Peggy helped her with her bath, and then they bundled her into her pajamas and ordered a pizza.  Jenny didn’t seem to want to let either of them out of her sight, and they understood that.

They all sat on the couch together while they ate, watching some surprisingly touching animated movie that Jenny loved.  She fell asleep before the movie was over and they tucked her in bed.

 

* * *

 

Hours later, in their own bed, Peggy reached for Steve.  He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her.  With all the extra house guests, it had been a while.  They both missed that kind of togetherness.  Natasha’s passing was a reminder of how much they’d already lost, and how much they still stood to lose.

“Steve,” Peggy hissed, hitching her thigh against his hip.

He grunted, arching against her.  Fuck, he wanted her.  He kissed her hard, pressing her back into the mattress with his body weight.  “Missed you.”

She reached down and took him in hand, stroking him roughly.  His breath huffed against her temple.  “Peggy,” he pled.

When she kissed him, he could feel the smile on her lips.  And then she positioned him where she wanted him.  They both held their breaths as he pushed into her.  Steve had intended to be gentle, in the wake of everything they’d been through the last few days.  But it didn’t happen like that.  He needed her, and she needed him, and the fact that they were there together was more than a miracle.

A long while later, they were both fighting to catch their breaths.  Steve was straining to hear, his head turned toward the door.

Peggy patted him on the shoulder.  “She’s still asleep.”

Steve wasn’t convinced, but he turned toward Peggy.  “You got pretty loud there at the end.”

She snorted.  “You weren’t exactly quiet either.”

“I was,” he insisted.

“Steve, I guarantee you there’s dents in the drywall from where the bed was ramming into it,” she said dryly.  She ran her hand through his hair, scratching her nails over his scalp.  “Not that I’m complaining.”

Steve groaned, flopping onto his back.  Peggy made a contented sound and tucked herself at his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

“We can’t stay here,” he said.

“I know.”  She sighed.  “Have you seen that comic Jenny has?”

“Yeah.”  It was an old X-men comic.  There had been similar ones detailing the adventures of the Avengers.  Back when there were Avengers.  The stories were oversimplifications at best, and outright lies often.  The particular comic that Jenny had featured a mutant safe haven.

“Eden.  I checked the coordinates.  It’s somewhere in North Dakota.  I think they’re meeting there, and then heading into Canada.”

“The other kids?”

“Yeah,” Peggy said.  “ _If_ they made it.   _If_ it exists.  I’ve had people checking on things, but Transigen is covering it up as fast as they can.  There was a skirmish, just over the border from El Paso.  And then another in Oklahoma.”

Steve was somewhat relieved that they didn’t appear to be heading their way.  “Casualties?”

“Lots of them,” Peggy said.  “Some of the nurses, a whole lot of civilians, and Transigen goons.”

Steve swallowed thickly.  “Any kids?”

“Not that they could find,” Peggy said.

Steve tightened his arm around her waist.  “No one’s going to take her from us, Peggy.  You know that.”

“I know.”  She lifted her head, far enough that she could look at him in the dim light.  She touched his jaw lightly.  “I know, Steve.  I know you’ll protect her.”

He kissed her.  “I’ll protect you both.  You’re everything I have.”

"And we'll protect you."

 

* * *

 

Steve pulled the truck into one of the hangars and spent the next week getting everything in order as much as he could.  When he and Peggy had been regularly staying in the truck, it was grim.  That just wasn’t an option now.  Especially not with Jenny there as well.  He got a new topper, and upgraded a lot of the fittings.  He used higher grade insulation and storage, and actually bought a new mattress.  They wouldn’t be living out of the truck.  They just couldn’t, not with Jenny.  But they needed as much flexibility as possible.

They were heading north.  Peggy finally got word that the kids made it across the border.  They’d been granted asylum by the Canadian government.  Steve wanted to see the kids.  It was important that Jenny see them, that she know they were all safe, that she hadn't lost everyone she'd ever known.

After that, they weren’t sure where they were going to go.  He suspected for a while they would keep moving.

 

* * *

 

“Goddammit,” Steve swore, as Princess curled around his foot while he was driving.

“Goddammit!” Jenny chirped.

“Language,” Peggy said absently, not even bothering to open her eyes.

Princess screeched and hissed and then vaulted up over the console and returned to the back seat where he was supposed to be in his carrier.  

“If he gets up here again, I’m sticking him in his carrier in the back of the truck,” Steve said, meeting Jenny’s eyes in the mirror.

She glared at him and stuck out her tongue, clinging to Princess, who didn’t look like he was particularly appreciative of the affection just then.  Jenny finally let go of the cat and he voluntarily went and hid in his carrier.  Steve had lobbied for leaving the damn cat at the compound, but he got outvoted.  

Jenny decided to entertain herself by kicking the back of Steve’s seat.  He ground his teeth and tried to ignore it.  Peggy reached over and set her hand on his.  “Why don’t we stop for lunch.”

He nodded.  “Yeah.  Okay.”

It was another hour before they found a little park, not far from the main highway.  They made sandwiches.  Afterward, Steve spent half an hour chasing Jenny around the park, trying to exhaust her.  Apparently he was successful because as soon as they got back in the truck, she was asleep, with Princess sprawled in her lap.

 

* * *

 

The motel wasn’t great.  It didn’t have a TV, but it did have wifi.  The beds were clean.  After dinner, Steve found a little park and once again tried to help Jenny run off as much steam as possible.  After she’d woken up from her nap, she’d been twice as irritable.  That seemed just wrong.  How could someone wake up from a nap in a bad mood?  But that kid did.

Steve felt like all Jenny did was push boundaries and pick fights all day.  He got it, he did.  Just when she was starting to get settled, they’d uprooted her again.  Jenny was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, for one of them to leave her, or to die.  He just hoped she figured out that neither he nor Peggy was going anywhere  - before they all went insane.

After her bath, Jenny lay on one of the beds, listening to music on Steve’s phone.  He took the moment of relative alone time to lay down next to Peggy.  “Tino texted me today,” he said.

She looked at him in question.

“He said a lady showed up at the compound this morning, looking for us.”

Peggy sat up and looked at him.  “Transigen?”

Steve shrugged.  “I don’t know, but that’s my suspicion.”

Peggy bit down on her bottom lip, looking at Jenny.

Steve wrapped his arm around her waist.  “We’re okay.  She’s okay.”

Peggy nodded.

 

* * *

 

Steve woke groggily.  It was completely dark.  Then he felt the little hand on his shoulder and heard a voice behind him.  “Daddy.”

With a groan, he reached out and wrapped his arm around Jenny, dragging her across his body and into the very limited space between him and Peggy.  Jenny immediately burrowed under the covers.

Steve had, finally, almost gotten back to sleep, in spite of all of Jenny’s flopping, when that damn cat jumped on the bed, managing to land right on his groin.  He doubled up with a huff.  Unbothered, Princess proceeded to start sharpening his claws by kneading the bedspread against Steve’s belly.

Steve stared up at the ceiling.  “There’s a reason people don’t wait a hundred and twenty-five years to do this,” he muttered.

In the darkness, Peggy reached over and patted his head.  “We love you.”

 

END CHAPTER


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was originally going to be Logan inspired, and then it turned into a flat out cross over. I know that Logan takes place in the 2020s, and this story takes place in the 2040s. Just go with it. This chapter picks up a few weeks after the end of the events of Logan.

“Did you get the address?” Steve asked.  Peggy nodded, climbing into the truck.  She put the address in the navigation.  It was a ten minute drive.  “They’re all there?” Steve asked.  “They’re keeping them together?”

“Most of them,” Peggy said.  “Some of the kids are really young.  Under two.  They’re with foster families.  And I guess one of the older girls, Laura, is with family.”

“Family?” Steve asked, looking over to Peggy and then glancing in the rearview mirror at Jenny, who was buckled in the backseat.  

“Yeah,” Peggy said.  “Her father, I guess.”  She shifted in her seat.  “It sounds like they crossed into Canada with the rest of the kids.  They didn’t settle far from here.  The coordinator thought Laura might even be there today to see Jenny.”

Steve nodded.  He hadn’t considered that any of the other kids would be claimed by their parents.  In all of Natasha’s records, and everything Peggy had found, they were all referred to as orphans.  But Steve was glad.  Those kids needed all the help and support they could get.  The drive was simple enough.  The city wasn’t very big.  The address was a residential street.  Steve didn’t know what he’d imagined, but the plain suburban home wasn’t it.  There were two large passenger vans parked in front.  But aside from that, there wasn’t any indication that there were a bunch of enhanced wards of the state living there.   Steve pulled the truck to a stop and turned off the engine.

In the backseat, Jenny grabbed Princess.

“Leave the cat in his carrier,” Steve said.  “He doesn’t want to go meet your friends.”  Steve could have sworn that damn cat looked grateful.

It was testament to how preoccupied Jenny was that she didn't argue about bringing Princess.  She just put him back in his carrier and unbuckled herself.  Rather than opening her own door, she scrambled over the seat, following Peggy out her door.  Steve walked around the truck and then followed them up to the house.  He could see the little faces peeking out the windows as they approached.  The door opened and a boy in his middle teens stood there.  

“Rictor!”  Jenny yelled, running for the boy.  He gathered her in a hug.  

Steve ignored the pang of jealousy, seeing Jenny warm so easily to the boy.  Behind Rictor, a woman stepped out.  She ushered Rictor and Jenny in the house and then held the door for Steve and Peggy.  “Please, come in.”

There was a lot of screeching and jumping as Jenny was reunited with her friends.  Steve and Peggy were directed to one of the couches in the living room.  They sat down, watching the reunion.  It was surreal, watching Jenny interact with the other kids, speaking in rapid fire Spanish.  She seemed like a different kid.

After the initial screaming and squealing had stopped, Steve and Peggy spoke with one of the social workers, Geme.  She lived in the house with the children.  Apparently there were four social workers who traded off.  Geme said there were other safety precautions in place as well, but Steve didn’t have any idea what that meant, and he didn't pry.  Though he did make a mental note to find out more later.

Steve and Peggy continued to watch Jenny interacting with her friends.  Steve wasn’t sure if friends was the right word.   _Family_.  These kids were her family.  And she was their family.  For so long, all they’d had was each other.  Steve watched the way the older kids looked after the younger ones.  The kids seemed pretty curious about him and Peggy too.  

It was at least an hour into the visit before Jenny crossed the room to them.  She looked at her friends.  “This is my mom, Peggy, and my dad, Steve.  We used to live at the compound, but now we travel in the truck.  We have a cat.  He’s outside in his carrier.”

Somehow it shocked Steve that Jenny was so articulate about it.  And it was surreal to hear the facts of their life condensed in such a way.  Jenny seemed a little embarrassed.  Steve wasn’t sure why, but he tucked it away for later.

The kids, especially the older ones, looked at them skeptically.  “You two married?” Rictor asked.

"Rictor," Geme said in a warning tone.

“It's okay," Peggy assured her.  She turned to Rictor.  "Ah, no,” she said, taking Jenny’s hand.  “But we’re together.  We’re a family.”

“And you’re her parents?” one of the girls, Delilah, asked.  “Both of you?  You’re the donors?”

_Donors_.  Wow.  These kids didn’t pull any punches.  Steve opened his mouth to reply, but Jenny cut him off.  “They’re my parents.  They took the test.  In the purple box.  It said I’m theirs.”

Geme pursed her lips together.  Steve had no idea how much she knew about these kids, much less about the circumstances of their conceptions.  He had no idea what she might suspect, based on that limited information.  Peggy wrapped her arms around Jenny, pulling her close.

The weird tension was broken by a knock on the door.  The visitor, a girl, older than Jenny, didn’t wait to be invited, she just walked in.

“Laura!” Jenny chirped, running for her.

Laura smiled and embraced Jenny.  Behind her, a man walked into the room.  

Steve snorted under his breath.  Jesus.  Steve thought he looked bad himself.  By comparison, he looked great.

The guy blinked, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the light.  When he saw Steve, he groaned audibly.  “ _Fuck_.  Rogers.”

"Fu-" Jenny started.

" _Language_ ," Peggy and Steve said in unison.

She had the decency to look chastised.

“Logan,” Steve said.

Peggy looked from Logan to Steve and back.  Logan crossed the room and sank down into a chair opposite Steve.  

“You look like I feel,” Steve said.

“Fuck you, Rogers,” Logan said - more quietly this time.  But there was no venom in it.  Logan looked from the girls, back to Steve and Peggy.  “Nobody mentioned she was yours.”

Steve shrugged, having no idea what to say to that.  It wasn't like anybody had mentioned to him that one of the kids belonged to Logan.  It did make him wonder though, looking at the kids.  How many of them were the offspring of people he knew well?  Jesus.

It was a long, weird day.  The weather finally warmed up enough that Steve had to go get the cat carrier and bring it in, but he refused to let Jenny take Princess out.  The kids played.  Steve, Peggy, and Logan quietly compared notes on Transigen.  It sounded like the company was still around, but most of their recovery team, as well as their chief scientist, had been taken out by Logan and the kids.

“You’re staying here, in the city?” Steve asked Logan.

He shrugged.  “For now.  The kid doesn’t want to move far.”

Steve would be tempted to give Logan shit about how he was reordering his life around and eleven year old girl, if Steve didn’t know exactly how that felt.  He’d do anything for Jenny.  He knew it was the same for Logan.  Though Steve suspected that Logan and Laura’s growing pains as a family had been pretty substantial.  They seemed a lot alike.  Steve suspected that Laura had literally given Logan no choice but to act like a real father to her.

 

* * *

 

The day wore on, and Peggy had Steve order pizza for everyone.  The kids devoured it like a horde of locust.  Logan pulled out a flask and he and Steve passed it back and forth when the social worker wasn’t looking.  They were sitting on the back deck, watching the kids run around the large, fenced yard.  There was a massive play fort and swing set.  Some of the kids should have been too old to enjoy it, but it seemed like somehow the horrors of the life they'd known had left them less jaded in ways.  They could still take joy in simple pleasures.

The sun was slowly beginning its descent, though it wouldn't be dark for hours.  Laura jogged over to where they were sitting in lawn chairs, motioning to Logan to join them.  “Papa.”

“Go on,” Logan said gently, waving her off.  “I’m too damn old to chase you kids around.”

“Damn!” Steve heard Jenny screech in the distance.  He groaned.  

Laura bounded back to the group of kids.  Logan laughed and chucked Steve on the shoulder.  “What happens when yours comes over here?  You’ll probably get up and chase her around won’t you?  You’ll probably break a hip, old man.  It’ll serve you right.”

Steve shrugged, leaning forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs.  “She won’t come over here,” he said.  “She’s embarrassed.”

Logan was quiet for a minute.  “Of what?”

Steve shook his head.  “Me?  I’m not sure.”

“That’s not why she’s embarrassed.”

Steve turned and looked at Rictor.  He hadn’t realized the kid had taken a seat at the picnic table behind them.  He was the eldest of the group, the ring leader.  It was clear he cared about the little ones.  He’d kept most of them safe on the trek north.

Rictor nodded to where the younger kids were playing.  “She’s embarrassed because we all want it.  Jenny and Laura are the only ones who have it.”

“Have what?” Steve asked.

“Family,” Rictor said quietly.  He shrugged.  “Some of our ... donors, are still alive.  Not many.  But a few.  Mine is.  None of them want us.  None but the three of you.”

Logan snorted and shook his head.  “Look, kid, nobody and I mean _nobody_ wants me for a father.”

“Laura does,” Rictor said evenly.  He looked at Steve and Peggy.  “Jenny does.  They have what we all want.  People.  Like us.  To take care of them.  To teach us what we are.  To show us how to survive in this world.”  He sighed, looking at his hands.  "Everything I know about who I am and what I can do, I learned from  _them_."  He spat the last word, like it left a bitter taste in his mouth.  He shook his head.  "At least Laura and Jenny can look at you and see why they are the way they are."

Logan looked away, his jaw tight.

Steve felt like Rictor’s words sat there, between them, like a leaden weight.  “Do they treat you well here?” he asked.

Rictor snorted and nodded.  “Yeah.  They do.  But that’s not what I mean.”  He stood up.  “Jenny’s embarrassed.  Not because she doesn’t want you, but because she knows she has something the rest of us will never find.  She knows how lucky she is.  And because she’s a good kid, she feels bad about that.”  

Rictor walked to the middle of the yard and called to the rest of the kids.  “Come on, guys.  Let’s go watch a movie.”

 

* * *

 

All of the kids piled into the living room, sprawled on the couch and the floor, watching a movie.  At first there was a lot of chatter and grousing about pillows and where feet went.

Peggy, Steve and Logan sat at the dining room table, talking.  Steve had never particularly cared for Logan.  The guy was good in a fight, but pretty damn unfriendly.  But it seemed that time and circumstance had lessened the gap between him and Logan, leveled the playing field.  Now they were both just two worn out old men trying to figure out how to raise little girls.

After a while, Rictor joined them.  He asked a lot of pointed questions.  He wanted history, context, for how Transigen came to exist.  He was a sharp kid.  He’d be a hell of a man someday.

The kids put on another movie and little by little, it got quieter in the living room.  When Steve hadn’t heard any complaining for at least half an hour, he checked on them.  They were all asleep.  Jenny was curled in the corner of the couch, next to Delilah.  Princess was asleep on her lap.

As carefully as he could, Steve relocated Princess to his crate.  Peggy had the crate, and Steve leaned over and picked up Jenny.

Her eyes came open for a moment.  “Daddy?”

“Yeah, kiddo, it’s me.”

She went right back to sleep.  

Steve looked over to see Logan carrying Laura.  They all headed for the door.

 

* * *

 

When it was all said and done, they spent nearly two weeks in the city, visiting the kids every day.  They got to know them fairly well, which made it more heartbreaking in some ways.  They were such good kids, who had been put through such torment.  But they were strong, smart.  Rictor looked out for them.  He was too young to carry all that responsibility, but Steve knew that's how life worked sometime.  He knew the younger kids were lucky to have Rictor.

Steve had worried that Jenny wouldn’t want to leave.  He thought she might want to stay with the only family she’d ever known.

But it was Jenny who suggested it was time for them to move on.

“You’re sure?” Steve asked her.

She shrugged, looking out the motel window as she slipped her hand into his.  “You said we could camp in the tent,” she said, looking up at him.  “I want to build a fire and roast marshmallows.”

Steve looked at Peggy and then nodded.  “Okay.  We can go.”

They spent one final day with the kids.  There were lots of tears, but everyone exchanged phone numbers.  Steve had no doubt they would stay in touch.  The next morning, they were on the road again.

 

* * *

 

Steve enjoyed the irony that after he quit fighting, he actually did become a nomad.  They were all nomads.  They spent the summer out in nature - mountains, forests, water.  Jenny loved it.  Peggy loved it.  Steve enjoyed it a lot more than he would have suspected, but he knew that had everything to do with Jenny and Peggy.

Princess hated it, but he hated everything.  They’d finally trained him to walk on a leash.  Well, Peggy trained him to walk on a leash.  She was surprisingly good with him.  She said it helped that he was highly food motivated.  Steve didn't know what that meant, other than that Princess was an ungrateful freeloader.

Steve still had to keep all of his t-shirts packed up in one of the empty coolers, so Princess couldn’t pee on them.  He never peed on Peggy or Jenny's possessions.

They camped a lot, either in the truck, or the tent.  They spent most of their time in national parks, but they were occasionally forced to venture into more populated areas.  Steve would pick up the odd contract here or there.  Nothing more than a couple of days.  He considered going back to the fight circuit, but Peggy and Jenny absolutely vetoed that.  They lived on the cheap as much as they could. They had a membership card to one of those big distribution warehouse chains, so they got most of the supplies they needed at just above cost.

By the time the days were starting to get shorter, Peggy and Jenny were both tanned to a golden brown, with streaks of blonde in their hair.  Steve was as pale as ever, though he had learned how to start a fire, and he could catch a fish if his life depended on it - luckily it didn't.  He was pretty sure that Peggy and Jenny could both survive in the wilderness indefinitely if they had to.

However, disappearing into the wilderness wasn't an option they were seriously considering.  As the leaves started turning for fall, it became apparent that they needed somewhere to settle for the winter.  

“Jenny needs to be in school,” Peggy said, frowning.  “She should have been enrolled last year.”

“She’s a smart kid,” Steve said.

“That’s not the point.”

He nodded.  "Yeah."  He just hated the idea of Jenny being stuck in a classroom all day.  Away from him.

 

* * *

 

They found a little town.  Out of the way.  They rented a house, just outside the city limits, on a couple acres of densely wooded property.  It was a small community, where everyone watched everyone. That was a double edged sword.  Steve didn’t want everyone in their business, but at the same time, it would help to have a lot of people looking out for them.  Strangers would stick out.  Transigen would have a hard time sneaking up on them.

The little town was a long day’s drive to the city where the other kids lived, but it was doable.  They were still within reach for Jenny.  And there was always texting and calls and obnoxious video chats that, as far as Steve could tell, consisted mostly of screeching and fart jokes.

School was a trial.  Jenny was smart.  But she wasn’t great at following directions, mostly because she had no interest in following directions.  Or sitting still.  Or getting along with the other kids.  The first month felt like nothing but a series of meetings with teachers and school administrators.  The first few meetings were excruciatingly uncomfortable for Steve.  He had to clarify in two consecutive meetings that he was Jenny's _father_ , not grandfather.  And he and Peggy were together.

In a small town, news traveled fast.  The apparent age gap between him and Peggy was big news for weeks.   Jenny's teacher, and the school administrators, were okay.  But in town, older women would still click their tongues and shake their heads at him as he walked by.  They did not approve.

“They think you’re shacked up with an old man,” Steve groused.

“I am shacked up with an old man,” Peggy said, barely paying him any attention as she sorted through the clean laundry for a pair of socks.

“We’re the same age,” he said flatly.

Peggy looked at him and smiled.  She set a gentle hand on his arm, and pushed up on tiptoe, kissing his cheek.  “No one would believe that, Steve.”

 

* * *

 

Just when Steve and Peggy were seriously considering homeschooling Jenny, she seemed to finally settle in.  She caught up quickly with the rest of her class.  She even seemed to like a few of her classmates.  She didn't love school.  She was adamant that her favorite classes were lunch and recess.  But it was no longer a war every morning to get her to go.  That was a huge relief.  And it made everything about their lives easier.

Meanwhile, Steve found a job driving a box truck on local jobs.  It was a whole lot of loading and unloading, tracking inventory.  It was mindless work, but it paid decently, and it gave him the flexibility to be around the house a lot.  They hadn’t seen or heard anything to make them think Transigen was still after them, but Steve always kept an eye out.

Peggy spent her days volunteering at a local nature center.  Steve was still trying to figure that one out.

“Do you like animals?”

“What kind of question is that?” Peggy scoffed.  “Of course I like animals.  I live with you and Jenny don’t I?”

Steve didn't get it, but that was okay.  Somewhere along the line, he'd made the assumption that if and when Peggy went back to work, she would do something in line with her natural skillsets, like running the world.  But as long as she was happy, he truly didn't care.  It just seemed a little weird.

 

* * *

 

Peggy’s assertion that she liked animals was put to the test a week later when a stray dog showed up at their house and refused to leave.  Princess was beside himself with loathing.  Honestly, Steve didn't think Princess had been so satisfied in months.  If there was anything that damn cat was good at it - aside from eating - it was hating things.  He would stand in front of the sliding glass door and growl and hiss at the dog, who just stood on the other side, happily panting, tail wagging furiously, so happy to see a potential friend.

Steve liked the dog a lot.  He fed him, under the pretense that he was trying to find him a permanent home.  He was some kind of mutt, maybe a herding dog crossed with a lab.  He had a mottled gray coat with black ears and a dark muzzle.  He liked people a lot, and had a very easy going temperament.  He seemed loyal and smart.  Steve started taking him with him in the truck.  One quiet afternoon he gave him a good scrubbing in utility sink at the shop.  Without all the mud and burrs, it was obvious he wasn’t very old, really still just a pup, even though he was big.  

The deal was sealed one afternoon when Steve had picked Jenny up from school.  Steve had one final job to take care of, and he'd taken Jenny and the dog along.  Despite clear orders to stay in the truck, Jenny had gotten out and was wandering around the salvage yard.  From what Steve could piece together, one of the new employees had gotten too close to Jenny out in the yard, where no one could see.  The dog had gone nuts, barking and growling, making an unholy racket.  The guy had been forced to scale a tower of tires to get away from him.

The local cops picked the guy up on an outstanding warrant, and Jenny was in trouble for not following directions - though Steve was mostly just relieved nothing had actually happened aside from the dog scaring the guy.  

“I want to keep the dog,” Steve said that night at supper.

Peggy picked up her purse and removed a bag, handing it to Steve.  "I got him a collar today."

Jenny clapped and Steve smiled.  He leaned over and kissed Peggy.  "I love you."

 

* * *

 

There was a standoff in the living room for weeks.  Princess was pissed.  He only had four teeth, but he managed to eat two pairs of Steve’s shoes, and pee all over his t-shirt drawer on three separate occasions.  Even Peggy was at her wit's end with the cat.

Finally, at Peggy’s suggestion, Steve hung shelving around the main rooms, near the ceiling, so Princess could heft his mangy, cantankerous ass up there and judge all of them from on high.  Steve thought it was a ridiculous suggestion when Peggy made it, but as it turned out, it improved the cat’s mood a lot.  

Princess was still a jerk.  But he quit peeing on Steve’s clothes.  And he quit taking chunks out of the dog, who only wanted to make friends.  They seemed to declare a truce.  Princess even let BooBoo sleep on a small towel in the living room, next to BooBoo’s bed, which Princess had claimed as his own, even though he still slept with Jenny every night.

 

* * *

 

Steve was out on a job when he got a call from Peggy.  The cell reception was crap, but he finally made out her words, “You need to come home.”

Steve’s heart pounded in his chest.  “Is it Jenny?”

“No,” Peggy said.  “It’s the dog.”

 

* * *

 

Through her volunteer work at the nature center, Peggy knew one of the local vets pretty well.  They were able to get the dog in quickly.  By the time Steve got there, the crisis had passed, but Booboo seemed very tired.  Steve gathered him up in his lap, even though Booboo was a little too large to be considered a lapdog.  He gently rubbed the dog's side.  "Do they know what's wrong?

Peggy nodded soberly.  "A siezure disorder."

Steve frowned, holding Booboo tighter.  “What does that mean?”

“They want to keep him for more tests,” Peggy said, pulling her sweater tighter around herself.  “But it probably means daily medication, and revised expectations."  She looked at Steve pointedly.  "And they’re going to fix him while he’s here.”

Steve frowned again and looked down at Booboo.  He felt more than a little bad that BooBoo was going to leave with significantly less than he had arrived with, but he tried to concentrate on the more important issues.  “Tests?  Medication?  Peg, can we afford that?”

She shrugged and sighed.  “I told the vet that I’d owe her.  What else can we do?  He's family?”

Steve leaned over and kissed her.

 

* * *

 

That evening, BooBoo was home, resting on his bed near the pellet stove in the living room.  He’d had a heck of a day and was wiped out.  Princess had ventured down from his clocktower, and was actually laying right next to BooBoo.

“I think Princess was worried,” Peggy said softly.

“I think Princess can spot an easy target when he sees one,” Steve said wryly.  “If BooBoo doesn’t make it through the night, we’ll know who was responsible.”

Peggy shoved him.  "You're terrible."

"I'm realistic," Steve said. "Princess is terrible."

Peggy laughed, but didn't deny it.  She reached out and pulled Steve close.  Looking up at him, she pushed up on her tiptoes, kissing him.  Steve leaned into the contact, wrapping his arms around her waist.  Their summer had been great.  But sharing the truck and the tent with Jenny had been hell on their sex life.  There were certain parts of settling down that Steve really loved, and having Peggy alone in his bed again was definitely one of them.

Steve lifted Peggy into his arms and walked to the bedroom.  She gave him a blinding smile that shaved decades off the way he felt.  The rental house was an old cabin.  The common rooms had been updated with lots of insulation, triple glazed windows, and brand new dry wall.  The master bedroom still had a lot of what the realtor called ‘the original charm’ - rough hewn wooden walls and threadbare carpet.  The single window was small, and leaky.  The room was always freezing.  The bed was a massive thing, at least as old as the house.  Steve was certain at one point it had been mounded with furs.  At the moment, there were a whole lot of fleece blankets, and a duvet.

Steve and Peggy undressed quickly and dived under the covers.  Peggy laughed, pulling him close.  He nipped at her shoulder and along her collar bone, up her neck before kissing her.  

“Please, Steve,” she said in a breathy whisper.

Steve nodded, kissing his way down her body, under the covers.  

 

END CHAPTER


	7. Chapter 7

“You’re okay with this?” Steve asked, watching Peggy closely.

She nodded, frowning as she was getting ready to leave.  She was driving to the city, to meet with Sharon.  They hadn’t been in contact much.  Peggy was trying to distance herself from the Carter family.  As far as he knew, there hadn’t been a falling out, or any ultimatums issued.  It just seemed that Peggy was giving herself space from her family, in order to try and move forward with the life she was building with Steve and Jenny.  

He knew it wasn’t easy on her.  He doubted that she would stay so removed forever.  But for now, it was what she needed to do.

But Sharon had contacted her a few weeks earlier, telling her she had records she thought Peggy might want.  “I’ll be fine,” Peggy said, giving him a tight smile.

“I know,” he replied, pulling her close and giving her a soft kiss.  “But I worry.”

 

* * *

 

Later that morning, Jenny looked over at Steve as he drove her to school.  They were in the box truck that Steve used for work.  Jenny was chewing on her bottom lip, looking out the window.  She sighed.  “I got in a fight with Jeff behind that dumpster.”

“Oh really?”

Jenny just shrugged.  Steve made a mental note to ask Peggy about it later.  She tended to have better intel on these types of skirmishes than he did.  And he knew Jenny wasn’t really in the mood to talk about having been in a fight.  She was dancing around something.

“Mommy went to see her niece?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.”

“If she’s Mommy’s niece, is she my niece too?”

Steve frowned.  “I think she’s your cousin.  Technically.”

Jenny looked over at him.  “Do I get to meet her?  Technically?”

“I don’t know,” he said.  “Maybe some day.”

Jenny took a deep breath.  Her brow furrowed.  “Sharon used to be your girlfriend.”

“Whaaaaaaat?” Steve said, glancing over at Jenny.

“Mommy said you and Sharon used to go out on dates.”

“I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation,” Steve said.

“Mommy said Sharon dumped you.”

Steve coughed.

“What does dump mean?”

“We can talk about this when you’re older,” Steve said.

“Mommy said you have issues and that’s why Sharon dumped you.  Did it hurt?”  She picked up her backpack and started rummaging around in it with determination.  “I have bandaids.  They always make Princess feel better.  Do you need one, Daddy?”

Steve pulled to a stop in front of the school.  He looked over at his daughter.  “I appreciate the offer, sweetheart, but no.  I don’t need a bandaid.  It was a very, very long time ago.  I’m fine.”

Jenny looked at him, her expression deathly serious.  “Mommy says you’re cheap.”

Steve had no idea what the segue was, but he said, “I’m fiscally responsible.”

Jenny was quiet and Steve waited.  Her brow was furrowed and he could tell she was worried.  “Is Mommy going to dump you because you’re cheap?”

Steve smiled.  “No, sweetheart.  Your mother isn’t going to dump me because I’m cheap.  She knew about that a long time before we moved in together.”

Jenny glanced up at him.  “Why aren’t you married?”

Steve shrugged, searching for words.

“Jeff said that people who aren’t married don’t stay together.  He said one of them goes out for lotto tickets one day and never comes back, but I told him - “

Steve reached out and set a gentle hand on her shoulder.  “Sweetheart,” he said carefully, “I promised you that I will _alway_ s be here for you.  Your mother will always be here for you.  We both love you very much.”

Jenny swallowed thickly and her eyes were shiny.

“We may not be married,” he said, “but we love each other very much.”  He sighed.  “And neither of us plays the lotto.  It’s not fiscally responsible.  The lotto is a tax on people who are bad at math.”

She looked at him, frowning slightly, before she enveloped him in a fierce hug.  “I love you even if you have issues, Daddy.  I won’t ever dump you and Mommy won’t either.”

He hugged her tightly in return.  “I love you too,” he said, kissing the top of her head.  She pulled back and he tugged on one of her braids.  “Go on,” he said.  “Be good.  And remember if you have to hit Jeff again, do it when nobody’s looking.”

* * *

 

The sun was already setting when Steve picked Jenny up from school.  Apparently she hadn’t needed to hit Jeff, which was a relief.  Also, thankfully, she had found a new topic of conversation that didn’t involve Steve’s romantic entanglements, past or present.  As he listened to her talk, he wondered how he had ever thought she was a quiet kid.  She _never_ stopped talking.

They made it home, and Steve assembled dinner.  Jenny helped.  BooBoo tried to help by being constantly underfoot and begging for snacks.  He never would have dared with Peggy.  

After dinner, Steve cleaned up while Jenny took her bath.  Once she was dressed in her pajamas, she and Steve curled up in her bed and he read a stack of books to her.  Just when he was sure she was asleep, she’d wake up and ask for another.  He finally told her enough was enough, and gave her a kiss, tucking her in bed.  Princess and BooBoo both curled up with her, Princess on her pillow and BooBoo at her feet.  Steve wasn’t sure that either of them would be particularly adept at protecting her, but for all their issues, they were both fiercely loyal to Jenny.

He watched for her for several minutes, marveling at how far she’d come from the feral little girl who used to build a nest under her metal slab of a bed.  He’d move heaven and earth to prevent her from ever going back to that life.

He finally turned away, pulling her door partly closed.  He went out to the living room, laying on the couch, flipping through channels, waiting on Peggy.  It was after midnight when he saw the headlights coming up the drive from the road.  He waited on the back deck as Peggy pulled in to park under the carport.

She opened the door.  “Give me a hand.”

Steve walked over, and hauled the crate out of the backseat.  He carried it inside for her and set it down on the dining room table.  Peggy removed her coat, gloves, and hat.  She looked tired.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her temple.  “How’d it go?”

Peggy nodded, taking a deep breath.  “It was okay.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded.  “Yeah.”

Steve motioned to the crate.  “I guess this is the stuff Sharon wanted you to have?”

“It is,” Peggy said, sounding overwhelmed.

“What is it?”

Peggy shrugged.  “A little bit of everything.”

Steve arched an eyebrow.

“Truly,” Peggy said.  “There are some of my personal effects from ... before.  There are records from Transigen.  There’s a box of your things.  I’m not exactly clear on where that came from.”  She narrowed her eyes at him, giving him the distinct impression that she had a very good idea of how Sharon had come to be in possession of those items.

Steve knew they were probably things he’d left with Sharon when she kicked him out twenty years ago.  He was shocked she’d kept them.  Sharon wasn’t the sentimental type. He shrugged, holding Peggy tighter.  “I have always loved you, but you were dead.”

Peggy rolled her eyes, but wrapped her arms around his neck, slumping against him.  He knew she wasn’t really worried about what had happened between him and Sharon.  That was all very cold water under a very rickety old bridge.  He held Peggy close.  

“How was your day?” she asked.

“Fine,” Steve said.  “Jenny and I talked.  A lot.  She wants to know if you’re going to leave me because I’m cheap.”

Peggy snorted into his shirt.  “If your cheapness was going to be the deal breaker, the ramen you bought in bulk this summer would have been the end of it.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Steve said, offended.

She looked up at him.  “It was awful, Steve.  And there was so much of it.”

He frowned.  “She also wants to know why we’re not married.”

Peggy looked away.  “I’m not even clear on whether or not I’m still legally dead.”

“We should probably figure that out,” Steve said meaningfully.

Peggy groaned.  “I don’t want to marry you.”

“Thanks.”

She rolled her eyes at him.  “I wouldn’t mind _being_ married to you,” she said.  She waved her hand.  “I just don’t want to _get married_ to you.”

“How about we sleep on it,” Steve said.

“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” Peggy said, turning off the light and pulling him toward the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

They had gone to bed, but not to sleep.  They found other ways to occupy their time, for quite a while.  Their coupling had been more intense than usual, more raw.  He understood that Peggy was going through a lot, and sometimes she found it easier to express herself physically than with words.

Afterward, in the dark, she was trailing her nails lightly over his chest in idle patterns.  “I do love you,” she said softly

He tightened his arm around her, kissing her forehead.  “I know.”

She sighed heavily  “Do you want to get married?”

He waited, to see if she would say anything else.  When she didn’t he said, “Yeah.”

“Really?”

He paused, searching for the words.  “I love you.  I don’t plan on leaving you.  Ever.  Even if you decide you never want to get married, you’re not getting rid of me.”

“That’s not the same thing as wanting to get married.”

He shrugged.  “I gave up on having so many things,” he said seriously.  “A partner, a family, any kind of stable, connected life.”

“But all that changed.”

“It did,” he agreed.  “And I’m glad.  I love you.  I love Jenny.  I would like for us to get married someday.  But it’s not a deal breaker.”  He sighed.  “What about you?”

She was quiet for a long time, resting her head on his chest, wrapping her arm around him.  “I love you.”

He didn’t push, he knew that was all he was going to get out of her on the subject.  He knew she had more than enough on her mind with Sharon and her family.  Peggy had lived a life, full of purpose and love.  She had a husband, children, grandchildren.  She had lived, and she had died.  The human psyche - not to mention the human heart - wasn’t exactly built for multiple trips on that ride.  Steve had learned that first hand.  

Even today, Peggy still had a large extended family.  He understood that she had to figure out how to be a part of her family - if she could be a part at all.  And she had to figure out how Steve and Jenny fit into that picture.  

Steve didn’t want to add to her headaches, or make her feel like there was some arbitrary timeline on their relationship.  They were partners.  He didn’t need an officiant or a piece of paper to tell him that.

However, he had no faith that Jenny shared his views.

 

* * *

 

By the time Steve woke in the morning, Peggy was already up.  She was sitting at the dining room table sorting through the crate.  Jenny was helping.  Princess had planted himself in a half empty box and was dozing while BooBoo kept tangling himself around Jenny’s legs.

“Daddy!” Jenny yelled.  She ran over to him, holding a photograph in her hand.  “It’s Mommy,” she said, shoving it at him.  “When I was in her tummy.”

Steve looked at the photo, and sure enough, it was Peggy, her rounded belly visible beneath a tight blue t-shirt.  She was sitting outside on a bench.  There was no other context in the photo.  No dates, no people, no buildings visible.  

It made Steve’s insides go cold.

He looked at Peggy and she met his gaze.  She looked pale.  “It was in the Transigen file,” she said evenly.  “I don’t remember it.”

Steve looked at the photo, again, wondering if Peggy had been scared.  She had to have been.  She was alone, confused, pregnant.  Where was he when the picture was taken?  How long was Peggy at Dr. Rice’s mercy?  What other horrors did he subject her to?

“The records are surprisingly thorough,” Peggy said.  She met his gaze.  “Jenny was the only one.”  

Steve didn’t ask her to elaborate.  He couldn’t.  What did she mean ‘ _the only one’_ ?  There was only one procedure, and it resulted in Jenny?  Or Jenny was the only child of theirs that was conceived?  Or the only child of theirs that lived?  Or the only child that was _theirs_ , rather than _his_?  Every possible iteration got darker.  He didn’t know.  And he didn’t want to know.

Peggy held out another photograph and Steve took it with trepidation.  It was a picture of her, holding Jenny as a newborn.  Steve had a vague memory of Clint saying how all newborns looked like aliens.  And while he wasn’t wrong, Steve was also struck by how the little alien clutched against Peggy’s chest still looked like Jenny.  She was so tiny and fragile.  Peggy didn’t look much better.  

Steve nodded, his throat tight.  Had they let Peggy keep Jenny, at least initially?  Or was this one random moment, captured on film?  Another experiment?  Where the fuck had he been while this was happening?  Dragging his ass from cage fight to cage fight, throwing his life away, while his family were experimented on?  

Peggy threaded her fingers through his and pulled him over to the table.  He took a seat.  She took the picture from him and leaned forward, touching her forehead lightly to his.  “I didn’t show these to you to make you feel bad,” she whispered.

He squeezed her hand and nodded.

Jenny joined them, inserting herself between the two of them, hugging them both tight.  “Do the pictures make you sad, Daddy?”

“I ,uh - “  Steve had no idea how to answer that.

Peggy pulled back.  She gave Jenny a smile and ruffled her hair.  She looked at Steve.  “They let me keep her, according to the records.  Until she was eight months old.  They didn’t have much use for her before she was mobile.”

Steve nodded.  He understood that Peggy didn’t remember any of that time, any more than Jenny did.  But the fact that they’d been together seemed somewhat of a comfort to Peggy.  Steve wasn’t sure why.  But it wasn’t his place to try and frame that experience for either of them.  If it made them feel better, then it was a good thing.

“Once they took Jenny, they transferred me to their facility in Taiwan,” Peggy continued.  “That’s where I was when Hill found me.”

Steve closed his eyes.  He wondered if the record of why Peggy had been transferred was missing, or if she was simply choosing not to tell him.  He suspected it was the latter.  With a sigh, Peggy kissed him.  He blinked his eyes open.  She handed him a stack of pictures.  

He took a deep breath and released it slowly, glancing at the pictures.  This was a different kind of heartbreak.

The pictures must have been from Peggy’s private collection.  Items from the war.  There were pictures of Steve, all the Howlies.  There were a lot of photos of Buck.  And even a few of Peggy and Phillips.  Some of them Steve had never seen before.  It was surreal, after all these years, to find something new from that time.

Steve looked across the table at Jenny.  She was holding his compass, studying it.  It was at the tip of his tongue to tell her to be careful, but then he realized how ridiculous that would be.  The compass had been so important to him because it was a reminder of everything he’d lost.  But now he had Peggy, and he had Jenny.  Every hope the compass had ever represented was now here with him. If Jenny wanted to look at the compass, she had every right.  

“And finally, we have these,” Peggy said, sliding a folder to Steve.

He opened it.  It was a birth certificate for Jenny.  Fabricated, but he knew it would pass legal scrutiny.  They had one, issued by the Canadian government, by the same office that granted asylum to all of the Transigen kids.  But this document was different.  This would allow them to take Jenny and disappear if they wanted.  Create a brand new life somewhere, with no ties to this one.

It was probably Sharon’s doing.  Steve had no idea who else could possibly have the pull to create those documents.  There was another set of documents for Peggy.  They’d changed her middle name from Elizabeth to Ellsbeth, and made the dates line up with what looked like her current chronological age.

“I guess you’re alive again.”

“So it would seem,” she said.  “Sharon was quite thorough.  She even managed to track down some offshore investments I made before my mind started slipping.  They were never cataloged anywhere, so they’ve just been sitting for decades.  It’s not a fortune, but it means money won’t be quite so tight.”

“You don’t have to be cheap, Daddy,” Jenny offered helpfully.

Peggy reached over and patted her hand.  “He can’t help himself, sweetheart.  It’s just who he is.  We love him in spite of it.”

 

* * *

 

“Daddy.”

Steve opened his eyes.  Jenny was standing next to the bed, holding a brush.  “Yeah?”

“Braid my hair.”

He pushed himself up on his elbow and looked at her.  He glanced around his bedroom.  According to the clock on the nightstand, it was after seven in the morning.  “Your mother is in charge of your hair.”

“She’s not here.”

“What do you mean she’s not here?  Where is she?”

“Tammy called.  There was a problem.”

He shooed Jenny out of the room and pulled on a pair of sweats.  He headed out into the living room.  The lights and heat were on.  There was coffee in the carafe and a note reminding him that Jenny needed to take her art folder to school.

Steve hoped nothing too bad had happened at Peggy’s work.  He trusted she would call if she needed help.  Jenny did not get the braid she wanted.  With his bad hand, Steve managed a sloppy ponytail, covered by a hat.  Jenny was less than pleased.

 

* * *

 

That evening, Steve stopped dead in his tracks, just inside the door.  “What is that?”

“It’s a cage,” Peggy said dismissively, glancing at the large black iron cage in the corner of the dining room.

“I don’t mean the cage,” Steve qualified.  “What is that ... thing?”

Peggy looked at him, irritated. “It’s a bird.”

“No,” he said, taking off his coat and hanging it up.  “Birds have feathers.  That’s a hairless rat with a beak.”

“He has feathers,” Peggy said crossing her arms over her chest, looking offended on the hairless rat’s behalf.

“Yeah?” Steve challenged.  “Where?”

“You’re awful,” she said, frowning at him.

Just then, Jenny bounded into the room.  She threw herself at Steve, wrapping her arms around his waist.  “Isn’t he beautiful?  He’s a macaw.  His name is Steve.  He has an anxiety problem.  He doesn’t like anyone but Mommy.”

“His name is Steve?” Steve asked.

Peggy sighed.  “He’s thirty years old.  It’s not like I can rename him simply because you two happen to have the same name.”

Steve the macaw, as it turned out, was a regular occupant at the nature center.  However, he wasn’t getting along with a couple of the new occupants and it was having a detrimental effect on his health.  The center director had asked Peggy if she could take Steve home with her, for a few months, to recover, since she was the only person he seemed to tolerate.

Steve the macaw was obviously having a difficult time and it should have been easy to feel sorry for him.  

But it wasn’t.  

Steve the macaw was an asshole.

 

* * *

 

“Peggy,” Steve said, a week later, cornering her near the back door, which was one of the few places where there wasn’t a line of sight from Steve the macaw’s cage, “really, how long before he can go back to the nature center?”

“You are terrible,” Peggy said sourly.  “Did I complain when Jenny brought home that awful cat?”

“Yes.”

“Or when you brought home that dog?” she continued, undaunted.

“Yes,” Steve said.  “And technically, I didn’t bring home the dog.  He moved in.”

“The bird needs our help.  He has been severely traumatized.  He is a highly intelligent creature who does not trust easily.  He needs patience and understanding.”

Steve took a deep breath.  “He’s a dick.  And he wants all of us dead so he can have you all to himself.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed him away, moving back into the kitchen.  Steve the macaw immediately started talking when he saw her.  “Yes,” Peggy cooed in response, “you are a pretty bird.”

Steve frowned.  That bird was one of the most frighteningly ugly things he’d ever seen in his life.  And he faced down the Chitauri army.  “Peggy - “

She spun around and frowned at him, gesturing at him with the wooden spoon she was using to stir one of the pots.  “I owe Doc Abel,” she said.  “The only other treatment option is to board Steve at the veterinary clinic, and Doc asked if I would take him.  We still owe her for BooBoo’s treatment.  Unless you’d like to find another way to pay her back.”

Steve frowned, knowing that the argument was lost.  It wasn’t about the cost.  It was about returning a favor.

“Besides,” Peggy said, “Jenny loves him.”  

That much was true.  Jenny did love that damn bird.  But it wasn’t mutual.  “I don’t know why,” Steve muttered.  “He dislikes her as much as he dislikes me.”  

“Jenny cares for broken things,” Peggy said.  “I thought you would have picked up on that.”

Steve wasn’t willing to investigate all the implications of that statement.  Instead, he said, “If that damn bird bites her, he’s going to have to figure out how to migrate south in the middle of winter with no feathers.”

“Oh go away,” Peggy said.

 

* * *

 

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” Steve said, turning his head on the pillow and looking at Jenny.  They were both laying on the bed in the master bedroom, reading.  Princess was curled up between them.  BooBoo was on the rug by the door.

“Are you and Princess hiding in here?” Jenny asked.

“Why do you ask that?”

“Why did you answer a question with a question?”

Steve sighed.  “Princess and I are tired.  We’re resting.”

Jenny looked from him, to Princess, and back.  “You and Princess are friends now.”

Steve nodded.  It was true for the most part.  He and Princess had bonded.  Over their mutual hatred of Steve the macaw.  Steve had intervened several times when the bird tried to take a chunk out of the cat.  Princess had since decided that this made Steve a tolerable presence in his life - or at least a warm body to curl up next to in the one room where the damn bird was not allowed.

“ _Steve_ ,” Peggy called from the living room.

Steve opened his mouth to reply to Peggy when he heard her speak again.  She was talking to that damn bird.  He frowned.

“You don’t like Steve,” Jenny said.

Steve didn’t reply.

“Is it because he sounds like your phone?”

Steve frowned.  That stupid bird had learned to imitate the sound of his ringer and would do it constantly when he was around.  He’d finally had to change his ringtone to the same one Peggy used.  Steve the macaw didn’t torment Peggy.  Of course, it had just encouraged him to find new ways to be a jerk.  

“I just hope Steve gets better soon,” Steve said.  “So he can go back to his real home.”

 

* * *

 

“I need you to take Jenny to the party this afternoon,” Peggy said, grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, no problem.”

She gave him a look.  

He smiled at her and pulled her close.  “It’ll be fine.”

The sound of the doorbell rang through the house and BooBoo ran barking for the front door.  

Steve screwed his eyes together.  Nobody was at the door.  Nobody had rang the doorbell.  It was that fucking bird, making a noise like the doorbell to torment the dog.  He looked at Peggy.  “That bird is an asshole.”

At least she didn’t try and deny it this time.  Steve was finally getting the feeling that Steve the macaw was wearing out his welcome.

 

* * *

 

“Come on, Daddy.   _Hurry!_ ” Jenny grunted, pulling on Steve’s arm as hard as she could, tugging him toward the water.  

The birthday party for Jenny’s classmate was at the local indoor pool.  Steve had been hoping against hope that there would be a somewhat even gender mix among the parents.  No such luck.  He was the only guy there over the age of ten.  Steve felt like a heel.  Because he knew he typically was one of those guys.  He usually stayed at home and let Peggy handle things like this.  In his defense, it was to avoid exactly what was happening now.  Everyone was staring at him.

Steve knew what he looked like.  He knew he looked a good ten, twenty, hell, even thirty years older than the fathers of some of Jenny’s classmates.  He’d been mistaken for her grandfather more times than he could count.  It was just easier to avoid people.

But Peggy was busy.  And she wasn’t a single parent.  Jenny had a dad.  And dammit, he was going to do this.

Steve had hoped he could sit in a corner and wait for the party to be over.  But Jenny begged him to swim with her.  And he was a chump.  Because he was going to do it, even though part of him secretly hoped he’d drown in the process.  

He threw the towels down into a plastic chair against the wall.  Jenny pulled her goggles into place and looked at him expectantly.  Taking a deep breath, Steve pulled his shirt over his head, leaving him in just his trunks.

He glanced around.  If he thought everyone was staring at him before, they were definitely staring at him now.

“Come on, kiddo,” he said, motioning Jenny to the water.

 

* * *

 

A week later, Steve, Peggy, and Jenny were all in the grocery store, picking up provisions ahead of a big storm that was supposed to roll in that night.  Steve was waiting with the cart while Peggy compared labels on cartons of chicken broth.

“Hi.”

Steve startled a bit, realizing the woman was speaking to him.  “Uh, hi.”

She smiled.  “Nice to see you again.”  She laughed.  “You’re wearing a few more clothes this time.”

Steve frowned.  Peggy touched his elbow.  “Steve, this is Gordon’s mother, Ruth.  You remember her.”

Steve nodded.  He was pretty sure Gordon was a kid in Jenny’s class.  He had no memory of Ruth.  “Oh yeah.  Sorry. Hi.  Good to see you.”

Ruth smiled in a rather predatory fashion, looking him over.  “Well, have a good day.  I hope you all have a nice winter break.”  Then she turned and wheeled her cart away.

Steve looked at Peggy, who was biting back a smile.  After that, Steve took more notice of his surroundings.  He’d become so accustomed to tuning out unwanted attention, that he hadn’t noticed how the flavor of the attention he received had changed.  People were still curious.  Especially women.  But it was no longer outright disapproval.  It was more ... speculative.  He wasn’t sure that was an improvement.

It was not lost on Steve that Peggy spent most of the grocery run trying not to laugh.  When they finally got to the truck, he turned to her.  “What?”

She shook her head.  “Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.  Spill it, Peg.”

She laughed and then leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss.  Jenny made a gagging noise from the back seat.  Peggy finally pulled back and gave him a soft smile.  “I think it’s safe to say you made quite the impression at the pool party last week.”

Steve frowned.

Peggy arched an eyebrow, waiting.

Steve frowned harder.

She sighed.  “I don’t think the moms at the pool party were expecting your ... physique.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Steve said.  Then he felt himself blush.  “Oh.”  He cleared his throat.  This definitely wasn’t an improvement.

 

* * *

 

Steve was getting undressed when Peggy pressed herself against his back.  He could tell she wasn’t wearing anything.  “Yes?  Can I help you, ma’am?” he asked flatly.

“I certainly hope so,” she said, dipping her fingers under the waistband of his shorts.

He abandoned the pretense of being uninterested and turned, pulling her into his arms.  She kissed him, urging him toward the bed.  She hopped onto it, and then pulled him close.  The bed was so tall that with her seated on it they were nearly the same height.  

She wrapped her legs around his waist and he trailed his hands from her shoulders down her sides.  She shivered and smiled against his lips.

“I was thinking,” she said, nipping at his lips.

“Yeah?”

She pulled back and looked at him.  “That maybe we _try_.”

He blinked at her.  “Try what?”

She gave him a soft smile.  “That maybe we try,” she took a deep breath, “and have another child.”

Steve took a deep breath.  He threaded his fingers through hers.  Then, he walked around the side of the bed, pulling back the covers.  Together, they scooted under them, curling up together.  

This wasn’t a new conversation, exactly.  They’d been skirting around the edges of it for months.  They’d run out of condoms over the summer, when they’d been camping in the mountains.  They’d had the opportunity for sex so rarely, that the lack of protection hadn’t stopped them.  After they settled in the cabin, they just never resumed using condoms.  

So they hadn’t been preventing for months.  But Steve supposed that wasn’t exactly the same thing as actively trying.

“You want another kid?” Steve asked.  He realized the problem with having this conversation at this point.  They should have had it months ago.  He felt like he was forever doing things in the wrong order.

“I ... think so,” she said, looking at him.  “But this isn’t my decision alone.”

He frowned.  “I worry about you.”

She nodded.  “I know.  And I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  Those pictures from the Transigen files.  Jesus.”  She shook her head.  “I don’t know.  I’m not looking for a do-over.  That’s not what this is.  I love Jenny.  I hate how she came into our lives, but I don’t regret her.  But part of me would also like to have another child, for the sake of having one.  Us.  Together.  On purpose.”  She looked at him.  “Does that make sense?”

He nodded, and then sighed.  “I’m not getting any younger.”

She gave him a wry smile.  “Actually, you look considerably younger than you did when I found you.”

He tilted his head in acknowledgement.  He’d give her that much.  Taking a deep breath, he said, “I spent so many years working myself half to death to further other people’s agendas.  And then years just trying to find some way to die.”  He shook his head.  “It would be a nice change of pace to actually build something together.”

She narrowed her eyes.  “I’m pretty sure I’m the one who would be doing the building.”

“Metaphorically.”

She reached out and cupped his cheek.  “I love you, Steve.”

He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her close.

 

END CHAPTER


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: miscarriage

Jenny was sobbing, her arms wrapped around Steve’s neck, her face buried against his chest.  He pulled back far enough to see her face, and wiped her tears.  “It’ll be okay.”

Across the room, Peggy’s features were tight, but she finished up the conversation with Tammy, the nature center director, and turned toward them.  Her features softened when she saw Jenny.  “Oh, baby, Steve the macaw will be okay.”

“No he won’t,” Jenny wailed, burying her face against Steve’s jacket, sobbing.  “Steve the macaw will miss me _so_ much.”

Steve rubbed her back.  “He will miss you, but this is his home.”

Peggy glared at him.  “You could at least try to hide your smile.”

“I’m just glad that Steve the macaw is back where he belongs, especially in time for the holidays,” he said evenly.

Jenny wailed louder.  Peggy rolled her eyes and headed for the truck.  Steve followed, carrying Jenny.

* * *

 

“Please, Mommy, can we open presents?” Jenny begged, jumping up and down.

Peggy carefully set her cocoa down on the end table and smiled at Jenny.  She held up her finger.  “One present each tonight.  The rest have to wait for tomorrow morning.”

“Yes!” Jenny yelled, racing for the tree.  BooBoo was yipping and scrambling around.  He had no idea what was so exciting, but he certainly wasn’t going to let that dampen his enthusiasm.

Peggy carefully picked up Princess and then situated herself in his corner of the couch, so that she was seated next to Steve.  Princess curled himself in her lap and immediately went back to sleep.

Steve stretched his arm out along the back of the couch and Peggy leaned into him.  He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss behind her ear.  She made a sound of appreciation as she took a drink of her cocoa.

Jenny and BooBoo delivered presents, one for Steve and one for Peggy.  Then there was quite a bit of contemplation and Jenny chose the one she wanted to open.  She finally settled on a medium sized present that made an ungodly racket when shaken.  Steve didn’t know what it was, Peggy bought it.

They watched as Jenny unwrapped the present and then squealed in delight.  BooBoo barked and spun in circles, thrilled as well.  Steve was a little surprised.  He didn’t know that BooBoo liked model kits.

“Show me what it is,” Steve said.

Jenny bounded over and joyfully showed him the model kit.  It was a spaceship that looked like it had about a thousand parts.  Steve could hardly wait to dig out the magnifying glass and high powered lamp so he could help his kid put the kit together.

“Now Mommy,” Jenny instructed.

Peggy opened her gift.  It was a book, a murder mystery she’d been wanting.  She looked quite pleased.

“Now you, Daddy!” Jenny said, literally bouncing with excitement.  

Her level of enthusiasm was more than a little concerning to Steve, but he unwrapped the present.  He pulled the shorts out and looked at them.

“They’re swim trunks!” Jenny shrieked, clapping.  “I picked them out.”

Steve looked from the swim trunks, over to Peggy, who was sipping her cocoa.  “Are those ... sequins?” he asked.

“They’re _scales_ , Daddy,” Jenny said, sighing dramatically.  “Because you’re a _mer-man_.  And they’re pink and purple so you’ll match me when we swim together in the pool.”

“Oh, of course,” Steve said.  He hugged Jenny close.  “Thank you, sweetheart.”  Over her head, he glared at Peggy, who wouldn’t look at him.

After that, Steve cleaned up the wrapping paper and made popcorn.  Then they all sat on the couch together and watched an animated Christmas special.  Steve sat in the middle, with Peggy curled up against one side and Jenny curled up against the other.  BooBoo was resting at his feet, and even Princess remained asleep in Peggy’s lap.

Not even the pink and purple sequined swim trunks, and the promise of having to wear them in public, could put a damper on Steve’s evening.

When Jenny’s show was over, Steve turned off the TV and cuddled her close.  “Okay, kiddo.  Time for bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed,” she groused.

“Not so quick,” Peggy said.  “We have one last present.  It’s for your father.”

Jenny pouted.  “You said only one present.”

“I know,” Peggy said.  “But this is a special present.”  She handed Steve a small square box.

Steve took the box, looking at her skeptically.

“Open it,” Jenny ordered, pushing herself up on her knees on the couch, and putting her head between Steve’s face and the present, so he couldn’t actually see it.

“Okay, okay, just give me a minute,” he said, urging her to sit back a bit.  Carefully he opened the box.  Inside was a ring.  He looked at Peggy.

“Steve Rogers,” Peggy said.  “Will you marry me?”

Steve opened his mouth, but found he couldn’t speak.  His chest felt tight.

Jenny let out an absolutely ear piercing shriek.  BooBoo started howling.  “Say yes!” Jenny screamed.  “Say yes!”

Laughing, Steve wrapped one arm around Peggy and one arm around Jenny, pulling them both close.  He leaned over and kissed Peggy.  “Yes,” he said.  “I will marry you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Later that night, when they were finally in bed, Steve pulled Peggy close.  “Do you think she’s asleep?”

“God, I hope so,” Peggy said.  She rolled over so they were chest to chest and kissed him softly.  

“Do you really want to get married?”

He could feel her smile against his lips.  “I do.  I think it’s time I make an honest man of you.”

He laughed.  “It’s way too late for that.”

“Nevertheless,” she said, cupping his cheek in her hand.  “I do love you, Steve.  I want to do this.”

“Okay,” he said, smiling.  “Let’s do it.”  He paused.  “Something small.”

“You’re going to have to negotiate that with your daughter.  She’s already making plans.  I heard her talking to that cat about being the ring bearer.”

Steve laughed, feeling almost unbearably light.  Not even the thought of Princess being part of the wedding party could dampen his spirits.  He captured Peggy’s lips in a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

Peggy finally pulled away.  She cupped his face in her hands, gentling him.  “What did you ask Santa for?” she prodded.

He chuckled.  “At the risk of sounding like a total sap, I really do have everything I could ask for.”

“Good,” she said, “then the socks I got you won’t be a disappointment.”

He laughed again, and then asked her, “And you?  What did you ask Santa for?”

She took a deep breath and shrugged.  “I’d been hoping that maybe ...”

“Maybe?”

“I took a pregnancy test earlier,” she said quietly.

Steve’s mood instantly sobered.  “ _Oh_.”

She shook her head.  “I’m not even late yet, I just ...” She sighed.  “I got caught up in the moment.”  The disappointment in her voice was clear.

“Peg, I’m old,” he said, trying to keep the moment light.  “Give me some time.  I’ll put my back into it.  It’s only been a few weeks.”

She snorted, and gave him a soft kiss.  “I know.  It’s just that since I’ve finally admitted that it’s what I want, I’m impatient.”  Steve rolled onto his back and Peggy curled at his side, her head resting on his shoulder.  “This really was a lovely Christmas.  I don’t mean to seem ungrateful.”

“It’s not ungrateful to want things,” he said.  “It reminds us we’re alive.”

He nudged her.  She tilted her head up and looked at him.  He gave her a gentle kiss.  She sighed into it.  They kissed for long moments, hands roaming.  Peggy finally pushed herself up and climbed on top of him, straddling him.  She leaned down, her lips brushing against his as she said, “Oh, I’m definitely alive then.”

 

* * *

 

The new year arrived, along with nearly four feet of fresh snow, on top of what they already had.  Jenny and BooBoo loved it.  Steve tolerated it.  Peggy and Princess both complained loudly and spent most of their time curled up together in a corner of the couch.  

Steve was conscripted to help build snow forts of ever increasing complexity.  It was after dark when Steve finally had to carry Jenny, crying, into the house.  He patted her on the back.  “Sweetheart, I promise you, there is no way the snow will be melted by morning.  We’ll be lucky if it’s melted by June.”

Their days fell into a pattern of snow forts, hot chocolate, and nights curled up on the couch watching movies together.  But all too soon, it was time for Jenny to go back to school.  It was a development that neither she, nor BooBoo, was happy about.  Truthfully, Steve and Peggy weren’t very happy about it either.  They both knew how precious their time together was, and how quickly it would pass.

 

* * *

 

January and February were a slog.  It was cold and dreary, and the sunlight was still very limited.  Despite Steve and Peggy’s regular attempts at having another child, everyone was frustrated and grouchy.  It was just the time of year.  

It didn’t help that Steve’s work schedule ramped up.  The weather was abysmal, some of the worst the region had seen in decades.  Shipping routes, even locally, were closed with some frequency, which meant that when they were open, everyone pulled long hours to get supplies delivered to outlying communities.  

There was one week of good weather in the last week of February, where Steve worked five eighteen hour days in a row.  Peggy understood, but it was still tough.  

Jenny didn’t understand at all.  Neither did BooBoo.  When he was working his usual hours, Steve typically took BooBoo with him.  But with the long hours, he left the dog at home with Jenny.  They both made their displeasure at Steve's absence abundantly clear.  

But not everyone missed him.  Steve came home and found Princess sleeping in his spot in the bed next to Peggy.  He crashed on the couch rather than picking a fight.  He and Princess were finally getting along.  He didn't feel like rekindling the hostilities.

 

* * *

 

Steve woke, early the next morning, to Peggy sitting down on the coffee table, looking at him.  He pushed himself up into a sitting position and she handed him what he initially thought was a marker.

Peggy leaned across him and turned on the lamp, and then handed him his glasses.  He could see it was a pregnancy test.  A positive one.

He looked at her.  “Yeah?”

She nodded.

Before either of them could say anything, Jenny and BooBoo came bounding down the hall.  Peggy grabbed the test and shoved it in the pocket of her robe, giving Steve a warning look.  

The morning was a rush, as usual, trying to make sure Jenny had all of her things for school.  Steve got three calls about work.  He and Peggy didn’t get a chance to speak again before he was bundling Jenny out the door to get her to school in time.

 

* * *

 

Steve tried to cut out of work early, but one thing after another came up.  He was almost home when he found his elderly neighbor, Mr. Morales, high centered on the edge of the road.  It ended up taking nearly two hours to get his truck out and make sure he made it safely back to his house.

By the time Steve got home, Jenny was already in bed, and Peggy was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea.  Steve took off his boots and hung up his coat.  He sat down on the couch with Peggy.

“Sorry, I tried to make it home early - “

“It was a false alarm.”

Steve stopped.  He sat there, staring at Peggy, who was looking into her tea.  She finally took a deep breath and looked over at him.  “I started bleeding today.”

He stood up.  “Do we need to get you to a doctor?”

She shook her head.  “The technical term is a ‘chemical pregnancy’.”  She snorted.  “How very ... benign.”

“Peggy - “

“There’s nothing wrong, Steve,” she said, looking up at him.  “I’m just not pregnant.  Not anymore.”

He sat down again.  He let out a harsh breath and reached out, laying his hand on her thigh.  “Are you okay?”

She shrugged.

“Peggy?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said, rising to her feet.  “I just want to go to bed.”

 

* * *

 

At Steve’s urging, Peggy did go to the doctor, who backed up everything Peggy had said.  It was normal.  Peggy was young.  Her lab work all looked great.  There was no reason to be worried.  Of course, the doctor didn’t have Peggy’s full medical history.  That wasn’t possible.  So Steve wasn’t entirely convinced.

Steve was also more than a little concerned that he was the issue, rather than Peggy.  Despite Peggy’s protests that it was unnecessary, he did genetic testing.  It came back frustratingly normal.  Great even, for a guy his age - or what they thought his age was.

So, it turned out, that in spite of their combined complex and logic-defying medical histories, both Steve and Peggy were absolutely normal.

“So what’re we supposed to do?” Steve asked the doctor.

She looked at him and shrugged.  “Have more sex.  It’s how a lot of couples make it through the winter around here without killing each other.”

 

* * *

 

Having more sex turned out to be easier said than done.  Steve dramatically cut back his hours at work, despite Decker’s objections.  Steve would be damned if he was going to throw away his time with his family on some fucking job driving a box truck around the countryside.  But just as Steve was cutting back his hours, Peggy’s boss needed emergency surgery, so Peggy had longer hours at the nature center.

“Are you sure you have to be gone so much?” Steve asked one morning, after they’d just had a quickie in the bathroom.  

Peggy was sitting on the counter, legs still wrapped around him.  She looked at him.  “If you’d rather I move Steve the macaw back in for a couple of months - “

“We’ll miss you,” Steve said quickly, “but we’ll do our best to get by.”

Peggy glowered at him, but Princess curled lovingly around his ankles, purring loudly.

 

* * *

 

By May, spring had sprung.  The snow was well on its way out, though there were still a few drifts in the shady spots in the yard.  Steve was back to a regular schedule that allowed him to both drop off and pick up Jenny from school most days.  Tammy was back at the nature center.  Jenny was counting down the days until school was out and Steve just hoped she could refrain from getting herself suspended before then.

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and Steve and Jenny had a date at the pool, which Steve wasn’t particularly looking forward to.  But Jenny was.  And it would give Peggy time alone to go through Jenny’s closet and try and organize things without there being a huge crying fit about it.

“I set your swim trunks out on the bed,” Peggy said helpfully, smiling at him over the rim of her mug of tea.

Steve frowned and crossed the room to her.  Carefully, he extricated the mug from her grip and set it on the counter, then backed her against the kitchen cabinets.  Peggy Carter was not someone who liked having her personal space invaded, but she just sort of burrowed into him with a heavy sigh.

He kissed the top of her head.  “Thanks.”

She nodded and then took a deep breath.  Reaching back, she braced her hands on the cabinets and hoisted herself up to sit on the counter, so they were pretty much eye to eye.  She wrapped her legs around his waist.  He immediately reached out and wrapped his hands around her thighs, supporting her.

“I know we haven’t made much progress on the wedding planning,” she said, “but I was thinking maybe next week we could just go to the courthouse and take care of it.”

He nodded.  “We can do that.  Are we in a hurry all of a sudden?”

She took a deep breath and looked toward the living room where Jenny was kneeling at the coffee table with a bowl of cereal and Steve’s phone as she watched videos and talked to the cat.

Peggy looked back at Steve.  “I don’t want to say anything to Jenny yet, but ...”  She raised an eyebrow.

Steve’s breath caught.  “You’re ...?”

She nodded.  “Yeah.”

“How long have you known?”

She bit down on her bottom lip and glanced up at him.  “A while.”

“ _Peggy.”_

She winced and looked at him, frowning.  “I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure it was even a thing.”

He frowned at her.  He understood, he did.  But he wasn’t happy about it.  He wasn’t upset that she’d kept it from him.  He was upset that she’d felt like she had to shoulder it alone, especially if something had gone wrong.

He took a deep breath.  “Okay.  So Monday morning, first thing.  We’ll keep Jenny out of school for the day.”

She nodded.  “Yeah.”  She looked at Jenny.  “But I still don’t want to tell her yet.  Not about ...”  She gestured vaguely.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed.  “Okay.  But we’ll have to tell her about the wedding.”

 

* * *

 

Jenny managed to keep it together during the civil ceremony, though she was nearly vibrating with excitement.  When the judge finally announced they were legally wed, and Steve kissed Peggy, Jenny screeched with excitement.  She threw her little bouquet of flowers at the judge’s clerk like she was trying to throw a touchdown pass, and then ran in circles yelling with glee.

Steve finally scooped her up and he and Peggy both gave her a tight hug.  Afterward, they went out to breakfast at the local diner.  Jenny ate her weight in chocolate chip pancakes and sausage, while Peggy nursed a mug of tea, looking slightly queasy.

“Let me see your ring, Mommy,” Jenny said, reaching for Peggy’s hand.

Peggy dutifully held her hand out and let Jenny look at the ring again, oohing and aaaahing as the diamond sparkled in the morning light.

Peggy seemed to like the ring and Steve was glad.  He’d picked it out a long time ago, when they were still living in New York.  He’d offered to get her something different, if she didn’t like it, but she’d insisted on keeping the ring.

Leaning over, Peggy kissed him on the cheek.  “Stop fretting.  I love the ring.”

 

* * *

 

Peggy’s morning sickness, thankfully, didn’t seem to be too bad.  Though it was hard to tell because she never complained.  According to the doctor, everything looked great.  After her initial appointment, they made a note to follow up with her in several weeks.

Later, when they got home, Steve said, “That’s it?  They’re not going to ... monitor you?”

Peggy looked down at her abdomen and then back at Steve, narrowing her eyes.  “What, exactly, do you think it’s going to do that requires monitoring?”

He opened his mouth, and then closed it.  “I don’t know,” he finally admitted.  “Maybe we should get a second opinion.”

She pointed a finger at him and spoke very quietly.  “I am not going to be a lab rat, Steve.  Not this time.  There is no reason for concern and I’m not going looking for trouble.  Do you understand?”

He swallowed thickly and nodded.  “Yes, ma’am.”

 

* * *

 

School was finally out.  Peggy had already cut her working hours back dramatically, but Steve shifted his schedule as well, so one of them was always with Jenny.   They weren’t nomads, but they kept busy without having to roam the countryside.  There was always some project on the property in need of doing.  And projects around the house in preparation for the new arrival.  They hadn’t done a lot, yet.  Picked up a few items here and there.  They’d started cleaning up the spare bedroom, but there was still so much work to be done.

Steve and Peggy thought they were doing a good job of keeping things low key, but they learned otherwise in the worst possible way.  They were outside on the deck, working on replacing some loose boards when Jenny came outside, tears streaming down her cheeks.  BooBoo was at her side, whining pitifully, jumping up at licking at her wet cheeks.

“Jenny?” Steve said, setting his tools down.

She stood there sobbing, but didn’t reply.

Peggy went to her and knelt down in front of her.  “Sweetheart?  Did you hurt yourself?”  She ran her hands over Jenny, looking for injuries, but found none.  She brushed her hair back from her face.  “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”

It took Jenny several tries to speak, as she kept sobbing and hiccuping.  “Are-are-are you g-g-getting rid of me?” she finally managed.

Steve and Peggy both stared at her, aghast.  “What?” Peggy said, pulling Jenny close, hugging her.  “No, baby.  Of course not.  Why would you think that?”

Steve wrapped his arms around both Jenny and Peggy.  Jenny seemed to be calming down a bit.  She took a deep, shuddering breath.  “The boxes.  The ones in the top of the closet in the spare room.  The ones with all the duct tape that Tammy dropped off.  They all have baby things,” she said.  “But I’m not a baby.  And they don’t fit Princess.  I tried.”  On the last word, she started crying again.

“Oh, Jenny,” Peggy said, kissing her cheek.

Steve scooped Jenny into his arms, holding her tight.  He stood up and then helped Peggy stand as well.  He put his finger under Jenny’s chin and forced her to look at him.  “Jenny,” he said, “we made a promise to you a long time ago.  We’re your parents and we’re going to take care of you.  Always.  No one is ever going to take you away from us.”

She looked at him warily.  “But Steve the macaw was part of the family and you got rid of him.”  She started wailing again.

Steve glanced over at Peggy, who was glaring at him.

“Steve was a temporary visitor and you know that,” Steve said gently.  “He was only staying with us for a short time so he could try and grow some more feathers.  He was never a permanent part of the family.”

Jenny hiccupped and nodded, her cheeks still wet with tears.

“But,” Steve said, glancing over at Peggy, “we do have something to tell you.”

Jenny looked apprehensive.

Peggy smiled at her.  “You’re going to be a big sister.”

Jenny’s eyes went wide.  “Huh?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah,” he said.  “You’re going to have a very important job, looking out for your baby sister or baby brother.”

Jenny frowned.  “Someone is going to bring a baby here?  Like Natasha brought me here?”

Peggy shook her head slowly.  “No, sweetheart.  You remember that picture of you, in my tummy.  That’s where this baby is now.  In my tummy.  It’s going to be several months before it’s big enough to come out and meet us.”

Jenny didn’t look convinced and she wiggled down out of Steve’s arms.  She wrapped herself around Peggy, pressing her ear to Peggy’s stomach.  “I hear something.”

“That’s probably breakfast,” Peggy said wryly.

Jenny frowned up at her.  She looked back at Peggy’s stomach.  “Hello, baby,” she bellowed, and then smiled.  She gave Peggy one last fierce hug and then backed up, dusting off her hands.  “Well,” she said, “I have to get ready.”  And with that, she ran back in the house.

Steve and Peggy looked at the door she’d left hanging open.

“Should we be worried?” Steve asked.

“Probably.”

Steve sighed.  “Do you think she really tried the baby clothes on the cat?”

“You know she did.”

 

* * *

 

“I have an idea,” Steve said.  “I think we should get out of town for the weekend.”

Peggy looked up at him.  “And go where?”

“Rictor is graduating from high school this weekend,” he said.  “I thought we could drive down for that.  It would be a good chance to check in with all the kids.  Jenny could have a sleep over.  You and I could stay in the truck like old times.”

Peggy nodded.  “It would be good to see the kids again.”

 

* * *

 

Steve packed up the truck on Friday night, and he, Peggy, Jenny, and BooBoo headed out first thing in the morning.  Princess was happy to stay at home this time.  They made it to the house by early afternoon.

Jenny was thrilled to see the kids.  BooBoo was as well.  He finally had a herd he could properly herd, though they did their level best to thwart his efforts.  He was nothing, if not committed to making sure his flock was safe.

With BooBoo playing child wrangler, Steve and Peggy could concentrate on helping get the place ready.  Rictor was graduating.  And that was a big deal.  He’d been accepted at the local university, so he wouldn’t be going far.  Steve wasn’t even clear on whether he’d be moving out of the house.  But it was still an accomplishment and it deserved to be acknowledged.  The ceremony was at six that evening, and there was still so much to do.

Steve and Peggy spent the afternoon assisting with the preparations for the graduation party.  Steve picked up the cake from the bakery while Peggy helped make sandwiches and snacks.  The kids all pitched in, decorating.  They just had everything ready and it was time to rush out the door to the graduation ceremony.  Steve thought BooBoo might be upset at being left behind, but he was asleep on the couch before they'd even made it out the door.

The auditorium was hot and crowded, but the enthusiasm was infectious.  Logan and Laura met them at the ceremony.  Logan looked irritated with the entire event, but Laura was thrilled.  

The graduating class was large and it took a long time for Rictor to get his chance to walk across the stage, but when he did, Steve and Peggy cheered along with the kids.  After the ceremony, everyone swarmed Rictor with hugs and well wishes.  Steve noticed that Rictor had friends, who obviously had nothing to do with his time as a prisoner of Transigen.  Steve was glad.  Rictor needed all the human connections he could forge if he was going to make it in this life.  People needed people.

After the ceremony, everyone went back to the house.  They had sandwiches and cake and all of the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves.  Jenny was having the time of her life, running around with all the kids.  Steve was exhausted just watching her.  He helped clean up the mess from dinner and then slumped down into one of the chairs on the back deck, next to Logan.

For a while, they just sat in silence.  Then Logan looked around.  “Where’s your girl?  Patty?”

“Peggy,” Steve corrected, knowing damn well that Logan remembered her name.  “She’s inside.  And she’s my wife.”

“Yeah, I heard,” he said.  He glanced at Steve again.  “Congratulations.  On the wedding, and the bun in Peggy’s oven.”

Steve arched an eyebrow.  “You know about that?”

“Rogers, your kid is telling everyone about it.”

Steve sighed.

“You really want to do it again?” Logan pressed.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.”

Logan shook his head and laughed.  “I always knew you were a glutton for punishment.”

“You wouldn’t?” Steve asked.

“Nope,” Logan said flatly.  But there was something in the way his eyes squinched up that made Steve think he wasn’t being completely honest.  Logan hadn’t asked for Laura, anymore than Steve and Peggy had asked for Jenny.  But Steve knew how much Laura meant to Logan, and he understood how that kind of love could change a man - even one as gnarled as Logan.

Abruptly, Logan rose to his feet.  He stared off at the kids playing in the yard.  “I’m heading out,” he said.

“You’re leaving?”

He nodded.  “Laura’s staying.  She wants to stay the night.  I’ll pick her up in the morning.”

“Okay,” Steve said.

He watched as Logan called to Laura, and then gave her a gruff farewell before disappearing back into the house.  Steve didn’t know what demons, exactly, Logan was chasing.  But he hoped he found some peace soon.

* * *

 

The evening wore on and the kids finally headed inside.  They watched a movie, and then Steve helped them set up extra beds on the couches and floor for everyone.  BooBoo carefully inspected everything.  Steve and Peggy showered in the house, and once everyone was settled, they went out to the truck and bunked down in the back, taking BooBoo with them.  He curled up at their feet and Steve thought he was secretly glad for the break.

Steve was laying on his back, listening to the sounds of the night.  The neighborhood was quiet, peaceful.  Peggy was curled against him, her belly against his side, her head resting on his shoulder.  His hand played lightly over her back.

“What’re you thinking about?” she asked.

He shook his head.  “Nothing.  Everything.”

She waited, her fingertips playing lightly over his bare chest.

“I was just remembering that awful little motel.  The last one we shared before Sharon took you away.”

“Steve,” she said softly.

He shook his head, squeezing her hand lightly.  “It’s just ... I couldn’t see any sort of future at that point.  Nothing but pain and misery.”  He sighed.  “And now, everything has changed.”  He hugged her close.

She cupped the side of his face in her hand.  “You’ve changed.”

“All these years and I finally feel like I belong somewhere.”

She laughed.  “You feel like you belong in the back of your truck?”

“Wise ass,” he said, pinching her backside.  She yelped, and he caught her lips in a searing kiss.  

Finally he pulled back and looked at her.  “I feel like I belong with you, and Jenny, and the baby.  I feel like I know who I am when I’m with you.”

She smiled at him in the dim light.  “I love you, Steve.”

“I love you too.”

The tender interlude was broken by BooBoo suddenly sitting bolt upright, ears perked forward.  A moment later, he bounded out of the back of the truck and scrambled up to the porch.  Seconds later, Steve heard the sound of the house’s front door slamming, quickly followed by a, “Daddy!”

Steve and Peggy both sighed.

“Go get your kid,” Peggy said, pushing him toward the back of the truck bed.

Steve scooped Jenny up off the porch and took her to the truck.  She scrambled inside and made herself comfortable, right in the middle of the mattress.  BooBoo, as always, curled right at her feet.  Steve made do with his tiny corner of space.  Jenny was a restless sleeper.  She was constantly flopping around, hitting and kicking.  And she was _hot_.  The truck had seemed nice, maybe even a little cool, earlier.  Now it felt like an oven.

Just as Steve was about to drift off, Peggy said, “You sure you feel content?”

In the darkness, he smiled.  “I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.”

 

END STORY.


	9. Steve Rogers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Couple of Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Christmas story, set eight years after the main bulk of Still Right Here. Catching up with Steve, Peggy, Jenny, and the rest of the family ;)

**EIGHT YEARS LATER**

 

 

Steve studied the two displays of laundry detergent, comparing them.  One was name brand, the other was the house brand of the warehouse chain.  The house brand was a third of the cost of the name brand.

“ _ Daaaaad.” _

Steve ignored the complaints.

“Oh my  _ Gooood _ ,” Jenny groaned.

“Genesis, Language,” Steve chided absently, putting on his reading glasses and taking the calculator out of his pocket.

“ _ Daaaaad, come onnnnnn,”  _ this time the whining was in stereo.

Steve glanced over at his “helpers”, who were not helping anything.  Ever.  At least they hadn’t set anything on fire.  Yet.

Jenny was collapsed forward, most of her upper body draped across her shopping cart, though he noticed she was still texting with one hand.  She was wearing a skirt, even though it was about thirty degrees below freezing.  Also, her head was shaved.  Peggy was irritated about it.  Steve was staying out of it.  But if Jenny caught a cold, it was her own damn fault.  Not that she was ever sick.

Grace was glaring at him from the basket of his cart, barely contained malice nearly shooting from her crystal blue eyes.  With her blonde ringlets, she had the appearance of an angel.  It hid the temperament of a demon.  Luckily, she was seven, so Steve wasn’t particularly worried about her wrath.

Patience, the youngest of their three daughters, was sitting quietly in the basket of Jenny’s cart, her little head bent, her brown pigtails swaying lightly back and forth as she bounced her head.  She and Jenny looked so much alike, but their personalities couldn’t have been more different.

Nathaniel was nowhere to be seen.  

“Where’s your brother?” Steve asked the group, at large.

Jenny and Grace both shrugged.

Growling, Steve reached for a tub of the bargain detergent.

“Just get the name brand,” Jenny said, looking at him, exasperated.  “Mom’s going to be mad if you cheap out again.”

“She won’t even know,” Steve assured her, as he hefted four of the canisters into the second of their three shopping carts.

“She always knows,” Grace offered helpfully.

Steve frowned at her.  “The cheap stuff works just as well.  Do you think we’re made of money?”

Grace arched one perfect little golden eyebrow and then looked over her shoulder, into the basket of Jenny’s cart, at five year old Patience.  “She thinks we’re made of money.”

Steve didn’t like the sound of that.  He took a step toward Jenny’s cart and looked down at Patience, who looking up at him with guileless brown eyes.  And chubby cheeks.  Incredibly chubby cheeks.  Steve held out his hand.  Patience frowned, but then spit two coins out into Steve’s palm.

“All of it,” Steve warned.

Patience frowned again and spit out three more coins.  Where the hell did she store them?  Where did she find them in the first place?  Steve never carried cash or coins, precisely for this reason.  His kids were worse than the damn goat.

“That’s so gross,” Jenny said unhelpfully.  “Do you have any idea how dirty coins are?  There’s probably fecal bacteria on them.”

Patience stuck out her tongue at Jenny and then looked up at Steve.  “Daddy, what’s pecal bacteria?”

“ _ Poop _ ,” Jenny explained.

Patience started crying.

“Come on,” Steve barked, starting the caravan off down the aisle, in search of his six year old son.  With any luck, they could find him before nightfall.  They still had to find a Christmas present for Peggy from the kids, and then get a tree.

 

* * *

 

Steve’s sanity was hanging by a thread by the time they finally found Nathaniel, the present, and the tree, and made it out to their battered cargo van with all the supplies.  Steve opened the van door and let BooBoo out.  While Steve and Jenny loaded supplies in the back of the van, BooBoo enthusiastically corralled the smaller kids.  The dog was never happier than when he was herding his pack of largely feral children.

With the exception of the Christmas items, most of the supplies Steve had purchased were food.  At home, they had four chest freezers, and three extra fridges, and they were still running so low on supplies that Steve had to make the grocery run.  He and Peggy actually managed - after several years of trial and error - to grow a lot of their own fruits and vegetables, which they canned and froze.  Then Steve made the mistake of attempting to raise animals to have butchered.  It’s how they ended up with three new family pets, the pig, Hamsteak; the sheep, Gyros; and the goat, Howard.  Steve figured that only he could manage to turn an experiment in subsistence farming into having extra mouths to feed, and vet bills to pay.  That stupid goat ate  _ everything. _

When Steve and Jenny were done loading the van and tieing down the Christmas tree, Steve whistled.  BooBoo herded the little kids into their respective seats.  There was a wall of noise and complaining, which Steve did his level best to ignore.  No one was bleeding.  It was fine.  

Steve grabbed the canvas bag he’d packed from home.  He removed a smaller plastic bag for each of the kids, and tossed it to them in turn.  Each bag contained a juice box, a piece of fruit, and a packet of beef jerky.  The noise died almost immediately.

Steve glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed that Nathaniel was sharing his rations with BooBoo.  That was no shock.  Those two were inseparable.  Steve was pretty certain that BooBoo was Nathaniel’s favorite family member.  Steve tried not to take it personally.

As he pulled onto the highway, Steve handed Jenny her rations.  She rolled her eyes, but took them.  Steve pretended not to notice when she opened her juice box.

 

* * *

 

Steve was lieing in bed, on top of the covers, fully clothed, staring at the ceiling.  Peggy’s face came into his line of vision and she gave him a lopsided smile.  “So how was the shopping trip with your progeny?”

Steve shook his head.  “They’re worse than talking birds.”

Peggy snorted.  “Well, they have opposable thumbs.”

Steve groaned.

“Did you set up the tree yet?”

“Yeah,” he said.  “Jenny helped me.”

“Did you cut back the first few feet of branches?”

“No,” he said, closing his eyes again.  

“Do you think that’s wise?”

It was a loaded question, as usual.  “Princess is a thousand years old,” Steve said.  “How much damage can he do?”

“How can you be as old as you are, and still so naive?” Peggy said under her breath.

Steve didn’t reply.  The tree would be fine.  That cat couldn’t jump anymore and Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen him climb anything.  All he did was hide in Jenny’s room, away from the sticky hands of the little kids.

“Here,” Peggy said, and sat their youngest - and last, please God,  _ last _ \- child on Steve’s chest.  Two-year-old Frank looked placidly down at Steve.

Sighing, Steve pushed himself into a sitting position.  Frank didn’t complain.  He never complained.  He was their one child who wasn’t a complete trial every waking moment of the day.  He was just happy.  All the time.  

Steve looked down at Frank.  Frank reached up and put one chubby little hand on each of Steve’s cheeks and smiled brightly.  “Daddy!”

Steve nodded.  “Yep.  I’m Daddy.”  Steve had wondered about that for a while.  His money would have been on Frank being switched at birth, since he shared almost nothing, in the way of temperament, with the pack of feral animals currently tearing the house apart.  But Frank had been born at home, like the rest of the kids, so that really wasn’t an option.  And he looked just like Steve, though significantly more compact, and chubby.  

Frank was relaxed and easy going, unlike all of his siblings, who seemed to have no purpose in life other than to manufacture chaos.  Steve had no idea how they’d lucked out with Frank.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“The barn’s on fire.”

 

* * *

 

Steve was shampooing his beard, trying to get the smell of smoke out of it.  Despite what Nathaniel had said, Steve wasn’t willing to buy the idea that BooBoo had figured out how to turn on the propane burner.  Or carry it into the old tack room.  Luckily Steve caught the fire before it got out of hand.  No one was hurt.  And he talked to Nathaniel - again - about not setting things on fire.

But Steve was going to spend the rest of the weekend making repairs, or they were going to risk losing all the hay they’d put up that fall.

“Are you going to have to go to the lumber yard tomorrow?” Peggy asked, over the sound of the shower.

“Yes.”

“I need you to stop at the store.”

Steve rinsed his beard and turned off the water.  He opened the door and reached for his towel, frowning at Peggy.  “In case you missed it, I drove four hours round trip today to go to the discount warehouse.”

“I know,” she said, frowning at him, “but you got the wrong kind of laundry detergent.”

He sighed.  “It can’t possibly make a difference.”

“Frank and Patience are allergic to it,” she said blandly.  “You are too.”

He scoffed.  “I’m not allergic to anything.”

“That may have been true a hundred years ago, Steve.  It’s not true anymore.  The last time I used your discount laundry soap, you got a rash.  On your ass.  Just buy a small container of the real stuff at the local store.  We can return the discount stuff when we make a big supply trip next week.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Steve got up the next morning, all the kids were up.  They were always up at the crack of dawn.  Usually earlier.

Frank was sitting happily in his high chair, cramming handfuls of oatmeal into his mouth as he laughed, watching his elder siblings do their chores.  Peggy was sitting at the table with her coffee, supervising.  

There was a padlock on the fridge and pantry.  No one ate (except Frank) until all the chores were done.  Peggy, as a general rule, got a whole lot less lip from the rabble than Steve did.  The kids did not mess with their mother.  They knew no one got fed until the chores were done, so by God, the chores got done in record time.

Steve had just finished his coffee when the kids assured him the chores were done.  Peggy read down the list and confirmed that they were, indeed, done.  Peggy unlocked the fridge and pantry, and Steve started cooking the mammoth breakfast.  

Meanwhile, Peggy wiped off Frank’s face and hands and set him on the floor to toddle around.  The older kids immediately were at his side, playing with him.  Frank laughed hysterically as BooBoo licked his face, looking for anything Peggy might have missed.

 

* * *

 

After breakfast, they decorated the tree.  Steve and Jenny hauled crates of decorations out of the basement.  Peggy sat on the couch with a fresh cup of coffee and handed out ornaments to the smaller kids to hang on the tree.  Frank wanted to help too, so Steve picked him up and helped him hang ornaments.

They all stood back to admire their work.  The ornament distribution wasn’t particularly even.  It tended to be clustered around the heights of the kids.  The Terrible Trio of Grace, Nathaniel, and Patience, were all very close to the same height, all being born less than a year apart.  Frank’s were farther off the ground, thanks to Steve.  But he had elected to hang all of his ornaments on a single branch, which Steve had to admit, was a bold choice.

Princess sat on his walkway near the ceiling watching all the activity with his one beady eye, his mangy tail swishing back and forth.  Steve pointed at him.  “Don’t even think about it.”

Frank laughed and clapped.  “Kitty!”

Princess made a noise in response, halfway between a purr and a meow.  Even that damn cat liked Frank.

 

* * *

 

Steve walked down the hallway that led to the bedrooms and stopped.  He looked up at the cutout in the ceiling.  It used to be an attic access, but as their family had grown over the years, the attic space had been converted into a bedroom for Jenny.  She was adamant, however, that there be no steps.  There was a ladder that could be used, though she rarely bothered.  She just jumped up for a handhold and scrambled up.  Princess had his own walkway leading up there.  Steve hadn’t been in Jenny’s room since they finished the space.  And none of the little kids had either, which was Jenny’s whole plan.

“You ready?” Steve called.  “I have to get going.”

“Yeah,” Jenny said.  “I’ll be down in a minute.”

Steve looked around the house.  It was a hodge podge.  Sort of like everything else in their life.  Even after they finished the attic, it was clear they didn’t have enough space.  They’d built on two more bedrooms, and two more bathrooms, and then dug a full sized basement under the house - that summer had really tested his and Peggy’s marriage.  She’d been pregnant with Frank at the time.

It was still going to be a tight squeeze as the smaller kids aged.  But Steve liked it.  It was cozy.  Everyone was in arm’s reach.  He could almost manage to keep an eye on things, most days.  He made absolutely sure that there was never enough room to move in a giant bird cage.  The goat was bad enough.

 

* * *

 

Steve wasn’t naive enough to think that Jenny was going with him to the lumber yard because she was desperate to spend time with her old man.  He knew that she was going because Peggy only let her have her phone when she left the house.  Steve didn’t care.  It was quality-ish time with his kid.  He was going to take it.

Steve hadn’t been blessed with siblings, so he wasn’t exactly sure how that was supposed to work.  And he’d been worried that Jenny might feel resentful, to see the younger kids getting to have experience that had been robbed from her - from all of them.  However, as far as Steve could tell, she was reacting to her younger siblings pretty much the same way any older sibling would.  She tolerated them.  Barely.  Given how much the little ones tormented her, Steve thought that was probably the best they could hope for.

The drive into town wasn’t too bad.  The roads were clear once they got past their drive, which was always a bit of a trial.  The town was bustling with activity.  It was only a couple of weeks before Christmas.  Most of the storefronts were decorated.

The trip to the lumber yard was pretty straight forward.  Steve was a regular customer.  They had his order ready to go when he arrived and they had it loaded in no time.

When they got back in the truck, Steve headed into town, rather than toward the highway.

“I thought we were going home,” Jenny said.

“I need to stop at the store.”

Jenny was quiet a minute and then said, “You need to get laundry detergent, don’t you.”

Steve frowned.  “I need to get your mother a Christmas present.  And laundry detergent.”

Jenny smirked, but then said, “I thought you got a vasectomy as a Christmas present for Mom.”

“Whaaaaaat?” Steve stammered.  “What do you know about vasectomies?”  What Jenny had said was entirely true.  He had the procedure performed two months ago.  They’d saved up for a year to afford it.  It was their Christmas present to one another - or the bulk of it.  He still needed to get Peggy some chocolates.

“You mean about reproductive organs?” Jenny asked.  “Dad, I’m fourteen.”

“Exactly,” Steve said.

“Oh my God,” Jenny said under her breath as she tapped on her phone.

“No, really,” Steve pressed, “where’d you hear that?”

“I heard Mom and Sharon on the phone,” Jenny replied.

“She told  _ Sharon _ ?”

Jenny looked at him and rolled her eyes.  “You guys had one kid on purpose, three accidents, and a science experiment.  It was a good present.”

Steve looked over at her, frowning.  “ _ Genesis _ .”

She met his gaze evenly.  “I’m just callin’ it like it is.”

“You’re a child,” he said, aware he sounded more than a little sullen.  “You don’t know anything.”

“I know how a condom works,” she said.  “Which is apparently more than you could figure out.”

 

* * *

 

Peggy looked at him, her forehead scrunched up like she had a headache.  “Why is Jenny grounded?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Peggy just sighed, adjusting Frank on her hip.

Steve glanced around the house.  It was really quiet.  “Where’s the Terrible Trio?”

“Outside,” Peggy said.  “I told them not to set anything on fire.”

 

* * *

 

Steve could hear Patience crying when he rounded the corner of the barn.  Well, the Trio had taken their mother very literally.  He’d give them that.  No fire.  They had managed, however, to turn on the spigot and flood the paddock.  Steve imagined it looked like the ninth circle of hell in Dante’s Inferno

Nathaniel was riding Hamsteak around the frozen paddock like a stead, while BooBoo gave chase.  The pig, the dog, and the boy were all making an unholy racket.  Patience was sitting in the middle of the frozen lake, most likely frozen to the ground, crying loudly.  In the midst of all this, Grace, their little sociopath, was watching everything from top rail of the paddock fence, tidily out of the way.  She had probably orchestrated the whole thing.

With a sigh, Steve slogged out into the middle of the paddock, managing not to slip and fall on his ass.  He scooped Patience up.  She immediately buried her face against his neck, sobbing.

“Nathaniel, put the bacon away,” Steve snapped.  “And Grace, you help him.”

Steve trudged back inside.  The mudroom was one of the bigger rooms in their house.  It had to be.  He managed to get Patience out of all her wet clothes.  She was definitely cold, but there luckily didn’t look to be any frostbite, though not for lack of trying, he was sure.  Sometimes his genetics really did come in handy.  He wrapped her up in a blanket like a burrito, made her a mug of cocoa, and set her on the couch with a tablet.  Patience looked like Jenny, but she definitely lacked her older sister’s survival instincts.

When Nathaniel and Grace came inside, Steve glanced out the backdoor to make sure the pig, the goat, and the sheep were all in their pens.  They were.  He looked down at his kids.  “Take your snow stuff off, hang it up, and then go sit at the table until I get back.”

They both seemed to understand how much trouble they were in.  There was no complaining.

Steve went back outside and made sure the spigot was off, and all the pens were secured.  He checked to make sure they hadn’t left any smoldering fires or other hazards.  BooBoo was at his side the entire time.  Steve was certain the dog had been beside himself trying vainly to contain the chaos.

Steve and BooBoo came back inside.  BooBoo immediately went and curled up on the floor in front of Patience.  Nathaniel and Grace were sitting at the table, bickering, and shooting angry glances at Patience.  

“Why does Patience get cocoa?” Nathaniel demanded.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest.  “Who’s the oldest of the Trio?”

Nathaniel eagerly pointed at Grace, who frowned and stuck out her tongue.

“And who’s the second oldest?” Steve continued.

Frowning, Nathaniel held up his hand.

Steve shook his head.  “You three have to look out for one another.  You’re family.  And you’re a team.  You don’t leave a team member behind, or intentionally freeze them to the ground in the paddock.”

Nathaniel and Grace wore matching expressions of misery.  

Steve sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face.  “Come on,” he said.  “I have a job for you.”

Nathaniel and Grace both groaned, but they followed him.  Steve walked into the laundry room, where Peggy was folding a load of laundry, with Frank at her feet.

“Stay here,” Steve said to Nathaniel and Grace.  Peggy just watched the play by play.

Steve gathered up all five of the hampers in the house and dumped them all out in the middle of the laundry room floor.  It was a mountain of dirty clothes, towels, sheets, and various odds and ends.  “Sort all of these into piles.”

The complaining was immediate, and loud.

“Enough,” Steve barked. “I don’t want to hear it.  Sort it.  You know how to do this.  And do the whole thing, as a team, or you don’t get to eat.”

With that, he turned and left.  

He could hear them trying to appeal to their mother for mercy.  Peggy just said, “You heard him.”  

Peggy and Frank joined Steve, Patience, and BooBoo in the living room.  Peggy leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Patience’s head, and then handed Frank to Steve.  Steve, Patience, and Frank spent a while looking at various games on the tablet.  Frank and Patience were both partial to one involving sheep.  Steve didn’t understand the fascination.

Peggy made a giant bowl of popcorn, and then turned on a Christmas movie in the living room.  Their couch was enormous, and had seen better days, but it was comfy.  The movie was an older Disney movie.  Steve had been frozen when it was originally released.  Peggy’s grandchildren had apparently been partial to it, and Jenny had loved it when she was little.  Steve had seen it approximately thirty thousand times, but it was still moderately entertaining.

Frank ate a shocking amount of popcorn for someone with very few teeth, and then curled up on Peggy’s chest, his eyes heavy.  Patience was happily ensconced between Steve and Peggy, the trials and tribulations of the paddock forgotten.  

It was probably five minutes into the movie when Steve heard a soft thud and turned to see Jenny dropping down out of her attic room with Princess.  Steve stretched his arm out along the back of the couch and Jenny curled up at his side, reaching across him for the popcorn.

They hadn’t even gotten to the end of the first act when Steve saw the little faces pop up on the far armrest.  It only took Nathaniel and Grace moments to migrate down the couch.  Grace curled up at Peggy’s side, and Nathaniel climbed into Steve’s lap.  

Steve knew he should make them go finish their chore, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  He had his entire family together, and peaceful.  They were all curled up together.  No one was fighting, or screaming, or setting anything on fire.  Jenny was voluntarily choosing to spend time with them.  The tree was decorated.  Even Princess was minding his manners.  

It was all Steve could ask for.

Peggy reached over and took his hand, threading her fingers through his.  Their eyes met and they shared a smile.

“I love you,” Steve mouthed.

Peggy smiled.  “I know.”

He leaned over and gave her a kiss.  “Merry Christmas.”

There was a collective groan from all the children, and the dog started howling.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a fantastic graphic created by the artist [Pugaletto](http://pugletto.tumblr.com/), commissioned by the lovely [dorrinverrakai1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorrinverrakai1). I think it so perfectly captures the end scene in this fic and I love it to pieces!
> 
>  


End file.
